Dazed and Confused
by melodye123
Summary: "You're asking me to lie to my best friend, to deceive the people around me, and help someone I have never had a civil conversation with...I'll do it. I can't let him die…even if it is Draco Malfoy."
1. Prologue

**Prologue: **

"You're asking a lot of me Headmaster…"

A soft laugh reached her ears from across the room. "You would be surprised Miss. Granger how many times I have heard that statement as of late."

Brown, determined eyes raised to meet the tired blue ones that were presently asking the world of her. She was emotionally exhausted from the last five years of her life at Hogwarts but as Hermione Granger stared into the eyes of her Headmaster…she realized she didn't understand the true definition of exhaustion. After that night in the Ministry sleep seemed like a childish, fleeting idea. Hermione often wondered if she was the only one having pseudo-insomnia. It was clear that thoughts were also haunting Dumbledore as he looked away with a weary sigh.

Hermione moved to the bed and sat down as quietly as she could. The bed failed her and squeaked loudly, exposing the poor quality. She didn't know where to avert her gaze while waiting for Dumbledore to fill the pregnant silence surrounding them. Hermione could only hope such silence would give birth to reason and answers.

"Miss. Granger...Your role in this is essential to saving a soul. The soul gives you reason to live, to love, to become a better person. Without a soul you are simply –"

"The shell of the person you used to be."

Hermione looked up at the Headmaster with a furrowed brow. "Sir, I understand but some souls are not worth saving. You're asking me to lie to my best friend, to deceive the people around me, and help someone I have never had a civil conversation with. You're asking…too much. There are more pressing matters than –"

"But you're mistaken. It saddens me to think that the state of the wizarding world has already corrupted your heart and positivity. But alas…that is the way of war."

"No one mentioned war sir." She didn't know why she said it but regretted it immediately. It sounded naïve and weak coming from her mouth. She didn't know how she was going to live with knowing all of the information he had just laid out onto her but Hermione was more worried about other things. War kept her awake at night and hearing an actual person affirm her fear scared the shit out of her. Hermione opened her mouth to recover but Dumbledore raised a hand to stop her.

"You are so young…You should not have to prepare for an inevitable war but you will. And you can. While my request may not appear to be the most pressing matter, as you so accurately put it, it is nevertheless imperative in helping to save a young man's soul. Amongst the chaos and trepidation of the future…is it still vital to pay attention to singular people."

Hermione trusted the man standing in front of her without a doubt in her mind. But she felt deep inside of her that he was not telling her the whole story. "What is going to happen if I don't agree to your…mission? If all you've told me is true, Professor Snape is doing all he can to keep him safe."

Dumbledore clasped his hands in front of him and shrugged slowly. "Your life will go on but his will end. If I know anything about you Miss. Granger you will not let that happen."

Hermione's lips parted as she stared at him like he had slapped her. Brushing her wild hair of her face she crossed the space of the room towards the closed window. Her eyes drifted across the swampy, grassland outside of the Burrow. At a moment like this she wished she was at home with the window wide open, the wind blowing in her face. She felt suffocated thinking of the ultimatum Dumbledore nonchalantly presented to her.

"Why me?" she nearly shouted. "There has to be other people you can task this with…I'm not capable of this. You're asking the wrong person."

"But Miss. Granger…you are the most capable. You are the one who must do this."

"What is happening? I need to know what's coming…" Hermione turned towards Dumbledore, her voice pleading for some kind of light in all of this darkness. "I won't say a word…I swear. Ron and I didn't say a word last year to Harry about the Order, like we promised."

"I cannot Miss. Granger. I am foolish to request this but you must trust that I would not be asking this of you if it was not pertinent. Blind faith is difficult but I ask that you muster the patience."

Hermione wanted to scream but she kept composed as she stared at the older man. She felt miles away from him, secrets creating obstacles between them. This was her role at the moment in this war and she needed to accept that. Hermione continued to stay close to Harry with the understanding that she would have to lean into discomfort with dangerous or uncomfortable situations. That thought was an understatement to what was happening now. It would eat her alive.

"I'll do it. I can't let him die…even if it is Draco Malfoy."

"I have the utmost faith in you Miss. Granger. You really are the brightest –"

"Witch of my age. Being bright isn't going to save my life or his, Headmaster. I'll need more than that now." Hermione met his eyes and nodded as if to assure him that she was going to go through with what he asked.

Dumbledore examined her face in hopes of seeing the big toothed, short girl that walked through the front doors of Hogwarts five years ago. That girl was dead and gone now. The wizard stepped forward and pulled his wand from his cloak. "I will see you in just a few days' time at Hogwarts. I will never be able to thank you for your efforts. You will start your Occlumency and Legimency training with Professor Snape immediately…Is there anything else you wish to ask?"

Hermione chewed at her bottom lip and looked away from Dumbledore's gaze before determinedly catching her eyes. "I only ask that you stay around for Harry…he doesn't have many people left in his life. Promise me you will try everything in your power to watch over him."

"I will try all that I can." Hermione blinked and Dumbledore was gone. He had disapparted from the room and left her with a world of questions and doubts.

"What am I going to do?"


	2. Chapter 1

Hermione held her OWL's and felt her eyes glaze over. What did it matter what grades she had? Her bookish persona was upset she received an Exceeds Expectations in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Now of all times, knowing how to defend herself against the forces so actively working to attack Muggleborns was more important than the grade itself. She kept her head bent as Harry and Ron made noises of delight over their grades. Conflicted emotions rushed through her as she felt like crying and burning the grade sheet simultaneously.

"Hermione? How did you do?"

Ginny's voice broke her daze but she didn't peel away her eyes from the piece of paper. "I – uh" she started and finally looked up. "It's not bad." Hermione felt Ron rip the sheet of paper from her hand with a scoff.

"Ten Outstanding's, one Exceeds Expectations for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Hermione…that's brilliant! How are you disappointed?"

Hermione shook her head and grabbed the sheet from his hand. "We have different standards, Ronald." It was too easy to fall back into "their" Hermione. "I mean honestly, just because you're content with your grades doesn't mean I can't push myself higher."

"Come off it! The only reason you received an Exceeds Expectations is because Umbridge was an angry cow. I bet there was a mistake at the Ministry."

Hermione rolled her eyes and folded the parchment on the table. "I'm just happy Harry is Quidditch captain. That means you have equal status to Prefects!"

Harry still seemed caught up about his grades in Potions but looked up with bright, green eyes at Hermione's comment. She believed deep down that at the end of…all of this, Harry was going to be an Auror regardless of grades. Hermione smiled reassuringly at him as he adjusted his glasses, talking animatedly with Ginny and Ron on his Quidditch plans for the year. All seemed right in the world as her chosen family was ignorant to the darkness coming towards them.

* * *

A flash of pale, blonde hair passed through the barrier between two worlds. Gracefully darting between the crowds in the Leaky Cauldron he moved with a purpose and unwaveringly pushed anyone out of his way. He didn't have time to be polite…but when was he ever?

His summer had been eventful but in the worst way imaginable. He felt like he was drowning and no one was going to be there to grab his hand to pull him out. His mother was distant and more anxious than ever. His father was simply a shell of a man. Lucius Malfoy was lost to him as a father. As a role model…Lucius was a perfectly loyal Death Eater.

A sneer formed on his milky skin as the mark on his arm seemed to burn in a reminder of his imminent future. Hoping to distract himself, Draco had agreed to a fitting at Madam Malkins with his mother. He would humor her diluted idea that they could pretend like everything was normal. He slipped into Madam Malkin's where his mother was waiting impatiently. "Well it's a pleasure for you to grace us with your presence. Draco, where have you been?"

Draco moved past her to put on the first set of robes. He noted the tired look in her eyes with a fleeting glance. "I've been minding my own business…something I would suggest you do as well." He used his signature, nasty snarl but he needed his mother to stay out of his dangerous orbit. If there was anyone in his life he would die to keep safe, it was his mother. He was sure she was used to such stinging comments from the men in her house. He often wondered if she understood how much it ate him alive to push her further away than she already was. The sad part was that it took no effort for him to treat her like shit. Where was his soul going?

* * *

Hermione walked in the shadow of their guard, Hagrid, as they made their way through the normally congested alleyway. It would have been refreshing to see young, bright faces running around with their new wands from Olivanders but it was drastically different this year. The only shining light on Diagon Alley was Fred and George's joke shop. She refused to cry over the blatant loss of her childhood but it was depressing her to no end. The boys on either side of her fell silent as they took notice of the sparse crowd around them. Things were definitely different.

Ron pulled her arm to head into Madam Malkin's. He was getting taller every day it seemed and his mother was keen on him getting new robes. The moment they stepped into the store Hermione was greeted with a familiar groan.

"Well if it isn't fucking Harry Potter, his bumbling dimwit, and Miss. Queen Mudblood herself."

"Watch our language. It'll do you well to not say such things in my store!" Madam Malkin scolded the young man and accidently poked him with a pin.

"Are you as daft as you look?"

Hermione was unfazed by his cruel comments. Her mother used to tell her as a child that the more you say something, the less meaning it holds. Mudblood was just another word in Malfoy's vocabulary…no more significant as the others. She would never let his words hurt her again.

Hermione stared at him, her lips slightly parted. He looked different than he did the last time she saw him. He looked pale…almost transparent. His naturally sharp bone structure stood out more than ever before. She could just tell he either hadn't been eating or was lacking sleep. Or both. Her eyes scanned over his figure and realized he was still the Slytherin God the girls in her year gossiped out. He had the body of a seeker…it was a pity Harry was there to always get the win. Hermione sharply looked away from Draco. She refused to let her empathy be her enemy. When she saw Draco she only saw a greedy, selfish, nasty little boy that couldn't see past his own prejudices to see what else the world had to offer him. She wondered what he would say if he ever found out that she, a Mudblood, was tasked with saving his life.

"Say that again without your dear mother watching over you. Then again, you always seemed weak on your own."

Hermione looked at Harry quickly and put her hand on his arm. "He's not worth your breathe. Let's just come back later – "

"Oh please, Potter. At least I still have a mother. Where is yours again?"

"Mister. Malfoy!" Madam Malkin let out a gasp and stood straight to look at him.

"Are you quite done? Come Draco", Narcissa Malfoy spoke finally and walked towards Madam Malkin to hand over a handful of money. Draco walked around his mother, fixing his clothes before storming out the store, bumping Harrys shoulder while doing so. Hermione let out a tense sigh before watching Ron step forward to begin his fitting.

Hermione looked over her shoulder at Draco speaking roughly to his mother outside of the store. She winced as he grabbed his mother's arms, presumably telling her to leave him alone. He walked away from his mother without a glance back. Hermione was meant to help him but she didn't even know where to start.

"I'm going to figure out what the hell is going on with him. Something isn't right."

Hermione looked at Harry before averting her gaze back out the store front windows. Maybe she would just let Harry do all the spying for her.

Authors Note: Thank you so much for reading! A big thanks to those of you who have followed! Please please please review when you get the chance. I am all for constructive feedback and even some recommendations on how the story should go. I love collaborative fanfictions between the writer and the reader. Thanks again!


	3. Chapter 2

Song Rec:_ Eyes Wide Open - _Gotye

* * *

The aisle outside of their compartment was particularly busy with conversations on the year to come. The Hogwarts Express was the beginning of what would be an exciting year but Hermione was finding it hard to join in on the fun. She held _Hogwarts a History_ in her lap, a reminder of her first year of school. It always bought her back to when she found out she had magic coursing through her veins. The first thing she did when they visited Diagon Alley was buy the book she held so dear. That feeling of relief when she realized she wasn't a freak after all was something she cherished. Regardless of her parent's love and support, Hermione never exactly fit in anywhere. That know-it-all attitude was around much longer than her career at Hogwarts. To compensate for her unfortunate big teeth and bushy hair, Hermione worked to be the smartest. Big, brown eyes stared out the window of the speeding train as she recalled how disappointed it was to not fit in at Hogwarts either. She had assumed that knowledge was the thing that would set her apart. But there are so many things you simply can't learn from a book.

"Are you alright there Hermione?"

Ron's voice bought her back to their compartment. Harry had been summoned by the new professor, Slughorn, and left without as much as a goodbye. She understood his attitude as of late but it was tiring to be around Harry when his mood changed at the drop of a hat. He was becoming more and more unbearable. Needless to say his absence was appreciated for even a few hours. It would be silly to wish he could return back to their compartment the same 1st year with a familiar youthful glint in his eye. Too much had happened.

"Yes…Just thinking. Time's flown by hasn't it?" her voice thick with emotion.

"We've still got two years. Don't get all teary on me now," he chided her with a childish grin.

Hermione stared at him half out of jealously and admiration. He either did not understand the severity of the current situation in the wizarding world or he was doing a bang up job of pretending he didn't. But that was his role wasn't it? To make sure that Harry wasn't getting too intense and to stop Hermione from getting lost in her books and worries. Hermione nodded without another word and looked down at the book in her lap. They didn't have two years…she didn't know how much time they had left. But she had to conserve some semblance of normalcy.

After a few minutes Ron's voice cut through the comfortable silence they had settled into. "Do you really think Malfoy's a Death Eater?"

_Yes. _Hermione didn't look up at him until she had formed an articulated response that wouldn't give the slightest hint she knew too much for her own good. That was the root of it. Hermione Granger knew too much for the first time in her life. The weight of all the knowledge running around her brain was draining her. And to think…she didn't even know the full story.

"He's too young. They don't initiate students…why would do they? What good would he do for them cooped up in the castle?"

The question and the possibly horrifying answers lingered above them before Ron let out a deep sigh. "I'd still like to think You-Know-Who doesn't want a slimy git like Draco Malfoy. He'd be useless; constantly waiting for his mummy to come save the day." Ron shook his head and reached into his pocket for a chocolate frog, clearly trying to distract himself from the heavy conversation.

Meanwhile, her thoughts ventured to their previous afternoon. After spotting the shady Slytherin, Harry was keen on following Draco through Knockturn Alley despite her complaints. As if the alley didn't freak her out enough, they stalked Draco to the darkest artifact shop; Borgin and Burkes. The entire time Harry murmured negative comments about Draco as they listened to the conversation through a pair of Extendable Ears. Hermione watched on, silent, as Draco showed Borgin something on his arm. She held her breath and one of the many things Dumbledore told her was finally validated. It kicked her in the gut and she nearly fell off the ledge they were hiding on. Blaming it on poor grip she covered her tracks and denied all of Harry's accusations towards Draco. _"He's not a Death Eater. You're mad!"_ All the lies spewing from her mouth tasted like sulfur. It was hard for her to see Harry alone in his suspicions but this what it had to be like. There _was_ one thing Hermione could openly agree with…

"He's definitely up to something…"

* * *

"This fucking school needs to upgrade their train already."

Draco looked up at Blaise who was gracing a classic Slytherin sneer on his face. Next to him sat the pug-like Pansy Parkinson, nodding in agreement. "This is just another way for Dumbledore to punish us further. As if him being Headmaster wasn't enough torture –"

"Can we please stop talking about the old bastard? I'd like to pretend for a few hours I'm not heading to that god forsaken school."

"Where else would you go? Hmm, Draco?"

Draco met Blaise's eyes for a moment before raking his fingers through his hair. "Let's just say if I didn't have something to tend to at Hogwarts I'd be anywhere else. There is no way in hell that I am coming back next year. I have more important things to do."

"You mean…y-you?" Pansy interjected, her black eyes big as saucers. Crabbe and Goyle watched on with admiration as Draco nodded, unconsciously adjusting the sleeve to his jacket. "Wow Draco…you must be so proud of yourself," Blaise rolled his eyes as he pulled a book from his bag, no longer interested in watching the group feed Draco's ego.

Draco could also feel his patience wearing thin. Pansy had always been on his coat tails whenever she got the chance. Up until last year Draco had always enjoyed a girl hanging off his arm but there were more important things to tend to. He had also realized the stupid bint Pansy had grown to become. Blaise on the other hand knew too much about Draco and his activities outside of school. The wizard across from him was the closest thing he had to a best friend…if that even existed in times like these. Either way, Draco had nowhere to hide.

Out of all of the Slytherin's in his year Draco knew he was the only one to have been branded by Voldemort. In a sick way Draco was honored. It meant he and his mother were going to live that much longer. With his home being the base of Death Eater affairs he felt his percentage of living lessen every day. When his father disappointed the Dark Lord things had gone to pure shit. His fucking father…the bane of his existence. After Lucius was thrown in jail Draco was now the leader of the Malfoy family which meant he was to be a Death Eater. End of discussion. If his father had done his job right Draco's fate would have been prolonged.

Now, Draco was tasked with the impossible and he didn't feel safe +enough to seek help from anyone. Severus Snape was an ally in the castle but he barely trusted anyone these days. Killing Dumbledore was down to him or his precious life he often took for granted would be gone in a second. Stormy eyes watched the mountains in the distance as he realized there was no hope for him. He was set up to fail. But to stop Draco from trying would be like stopping death; impossible.

A subtle shift above him made his head snap up quickly to the luggage rack. His eyes focused on the bags to see the slightest movement and was greeted with an odd shift of his own bag. He casually leveled his head but constantly kept an attentive ear to the rack above his head.

* * *

"Where is he? Harry, I mean."

Hermione looked down the aisle and shrugged. Where could he be? Merlin help her…she cared more about Draco at the moment than her best friend. "He must be off the train with…Neville or Luna." Hermione wanted to believe that lie but he must have been walking alone or worse, getting into a fight with the Slytherin Prince. Her double lives were _just_ beginning to come convoluted.

"You're probably right. Let's go before the carriages head off."

A simple nod was enough from the witch and they headed off the train. She glanced over her shoulder and saw a tall, blonde student leaving a cart at the end of the train.

"I forgot something on the train! Go ahead, Ron. I'll meet up with you."

Before he could respond Hermione turned on her heel and began the walk towards Draco. She gulped in anticipation of their encounter as he gracefully made his way in her direction. When they final intersected Hermione stepped in front of Draco before he could slip past.

"Get out of my way before I push you onto the tracks."

"Where's Harry?"

"How would I know where the fuck he is? Aren't you and the Weasley bitch supposed to keep tabs on him?"

"Shut up and tell me where he is. Is he in that cart you just came from?"

"Are you watching me now? Have a crush, Granger?"

"Oh please. You're vile."

Draco looked at her fully and took in her features for the first time in years. She didn't have the same buckteeth from her first two years but he was unaware he was to thank for that. Her skin was freckled with light brown spots, accented on her high cheek bones. Her hair was still bushy as ever but framed her face like a halo, the light of the platform lamps making her look angelic. Draco furrowed his brow and almost wished she was still that ugly duckling from years ago. He was past the days of calling her ugly but now that snide remark wasn't even plausible.

"Maybe he is back there, Granger. Blood everywhere…such a pity the Chosen One had to be beaten up by a lowly Slytherin."

"Get out of the way."

"Oh, how the tables have turned. Tell me…do you always have to be such a goody Gryffindor. I'm sure you have some deviousness somewhere in your dirty blood."

"You're such a charmer. Move!" she raised her hands to push him but he grabbed her wrists before she could. He pushed her away, making her stumble back a few steps.

"You're always pushing, slapping, or punching someone. You don't like it when you're the one being shoved, do you?

"I have other ways of making you move," her hand wrapped around the wand in her jacket pocket.

"I dare you."

They stared at each other, their chests heaving at the prospect of a duel. Hermione knew then that her mission _must_ be for the greater good because there was no way in hell that saving Draco Malfoy's soul was worth it. She released her hold on her wand but held Draco's glare.

"I wouldn't waste my magic on you."

"Good idea. I hear Mudblood's have performance issues as they grow older. Best appreciate your magic now while you can still use it."

"Is that another silly wives tale your father told you as he rocked you to sleep?" she snapped with anger, moving closer.

"Keep my father out of your mouth!" he shouted into her face. "Stay out of my way, Granger. You won't like what's coming to you if you don't."

He stepped around her and made his way to this castle. With a frustrated huff Hermione adjusted her jacket before making her way to the last cart on the train. She could hear voices coming from inside the cart and listened for a moment before heading inside.

"Harry!" He was covering his nose but his blood had already stained his shirt. "What happened?"

"Malfoy happened."

"What were you even doing in here?" she stepped forward, wanting immediate answers.

"Something is not right with him, Hermione. I needed to figure out –"

"Stop it! This is not your responsibility."

"Hermione, you don't understand. None of you do!"

Tonks held up her hand before Hermione could respond, her brown eyes bulging with anger. "I hate to break this up but we need to hurry to the castle before the feast is over."

Hermione exchanged angry looks with Harry before leaving the carriage, seething from their short fight. To tell Harry to stop investigating Draco would be telling him to stop being him. To help Draco stop being Draco was the impossible. She realized now that she was set up to fail.

* * *

**Authors Note:** Thank you so much for reading! I've been enjoying exploring both sides of this story but also can't wait to put in some interesting twists later on. Please review if you get the chance! Also, I'm looking for a Beta so if you're interested send me a PM! Thanks again (:


	4. Chapter 3

If looks could kill Harry Potter would be a dead man. Hermione was still fuming from his actions on the train and was barely paying attention to the story spewing from his mouth. She unconsciously was stabbing at the eggs on her plate as he recalled what he heard while hiding in the Slytherin compartment. "Proud of yourself, are you? Hiding and spying without a care in the world…in the Slytherin cart no less!" she half whispered, half scolded. "You're being reckless, Harry Potter."

"But Hermione…there is something going on and there has to be someone concerned about it!"

"I'm more concerned on how Hagrid will react when he realizes we aren't in his class this term!"

Harry let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat. It was easy to forget about the people around him when he could only assume Draco was up to terrible things. "He'll be fine."

"You should stop worrying so much about Draco Malfoy and more about your classes. McGonagall is calling your name to discuss just that," Hermione gestured to the front of the Great Hall. It would a complete lie to say that Hermione was only worried about her classes. Draco Malfoy had kept her awake more than her liking as of late. "I'm going to Potions," her tone heavy in finality, ending their conversation for the morning.

Hermione ambled through the castle, seeing familiar faces everywhere she went. It was nice to see people she had grown up but at the same time she feared for what as to come. The war was haunting her and she blamed Dumbledore for planting that seed of fear. Before she realized it, she was in the Dungeon and entering the Potions classroom. She was greeted with the nicest hello she's ever had from a Potions professor in her entire Hogwarts career.

"You must be Miss. Granger! I've heard great things about you."

Slughorn was a pudgy man with bulbous cheeks that were only further accentuated when he smiled. She had heard from the Gryffindors who attended his meeting on the train that he was interested in those who had connections. Well, Hermione had none in the wizarding world but she wasn't particularly concerned about being in Slughorns club of favorites.

"I hope so, sir," was the only thing she could muster as she placed her bag under a table near the front. As more students walked in she could hear Slughorn's cheerful voice greet them, jotting notes in his attendance book.

"Looks like we're all here! Come to the front, will you?" he told the class and motioned them forward. Hermione stood in the front, mostly because of her height, sandwiched between Lavender Brown and Romilda Vane. She glanced to her right and immediately saw Draco Malfoy, standing there in all his glory with a bored look on his face. He was flanked by Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini, no doubt. Hermione eyed him before he could catch her staring at him. Why had he even returned back to Hogwarts? He was a Death Eater so why was in wasting time in Potions class? She had come to conclusion that he was feeding the Death Eaters information but what secrets was Draco Malfoy privy to? There were too many questions and too little time.

Slughorn had already began the lecture but her mind was miles away. That was until Harry and Ron walked through the door into the classroom. Slughorn turned around with an excited clap his hands at the sight of the Chosen One being in his class. "Harry Potter! Welcome, welcome!" Hermione couldn't help but roll her eyes and clasp her hands in front of her. Feeding Harry's god-complex was the last thing he needed. Hermione tilted her head to watch Ron and Harry struggle for the textbooks at the back of the classroom with an involuntary grin. Despite how angry she was at Harry she had to admit it was nice to see them act like boys.

As the boys filed into the group Hermione returned her attention to Professor Slughorn. "This term you will learn how to brew a number of potions but a valuable skill is learning how to identify potions. Will anyone take a stab at identifying what these potions are?" he questioned the group and pointed at a cauldrons. The students fell silent as no one stepped forward to identify the potions. Hermione let out a huff of air and stepped forward. "I'll do it, sir."

"Very good, Miss Granger!"

She approached the first cauldron and almost immediately knew what it was. She had brewed this potion in her second year. "This is Polyjuice potion. It's one of the worst tasting potions," she let out a small laugh before catching Slughorn's eyes. "…so people say. Polyjuice isn't the most attractive looking potion either. It allows the drinker to turn into the person of their choosing. The potion in this cauldron is in the stages before adding a hair or nail of the person you wish to turn into. The color varies for each person."

She stepped to the side to examine the next potion. It was in a small vial held up in a wire frame. "The shimmering glint of the clear substance is a dead giveaway for Felix Felicis or 'liquid luck'. It gives the drinker an unprecedented amount of luck for varying amount of times depending on the amount taken. It's highly difficult to produce but is invaluable." Hermione looked tentatively at the professor who was nodding in glee.

Hermione stepped slowly to the next potion but recognized it before even seeing the color. She didn't waste time and went straight into the description. "The spirals of steam and the pearl sheen are two indications of Amortentia. It's the most dangerous love potion as it causes deep infatuation from nothing. It's not real love you see…it's fabricated. Amortentia smells differently to every person. For example I smell," Hermione leaned forward and took a long whiff of the liquid. "Freshly mown grass, fresh parchment, spearmint toothpaste and…something like bergamot and cedar…" her voice breathy. She couldn't quite differentiate the last smell coming from the cauldron. Where had she smelled that before? "T-that's all." She hurried back to her spot, feeling her cheeks flush with color.

Amortentia was known to reveal a person's deepest desire, even if they weren't aware of them it themselves. She had never really smelt cedar and remembered loving it. She liked bergamot tea but never guessed she would smell it in a love potion.

"20 points to Gryffindor! Brilliantly explained."

"Thank you Professor."

Hermione lifted her head to find the eyes of Draco Malfoy on her, one eyebrow raised in an intense stare. She stared back with the same fire before he looked away with a contemplative expression. Hermione decided to let it roll off her back and looked back to the professor. If they weren't in class Hermione wasn't prepared to attack him verbally yet again. It was just that kind of day.

"For our first lesson I thought I would spice it up. The person to brew a batch of Draught of Living Death correctly will receive this small vial of Felix Felicis. Hop to it!" he smiled and the group dispersed to their tables. "Only one of my students has made this potion correctly so good luck! You will need it!"

* * *

Hermione could feel a rage fire building inside of her as she watched Slughorn hand Harry the Felix Felicis from its stand. She could hear murmurs of jealously and admiration for the young wizard but she had decidedly kept her mouth shut. Never before had she been beaten in class…especially by Harry or Ron. They constantly cheated off of her and did their work with mediocre effort. How in Merlin's name did Harry pull that potion out of his arse? Crossing her arms across her chest she eyed Harry's smile as he held the vial for the whole class to see.

"Good job today everyone! This is bound to be a great year!" Slughorn slapped Harry on the back with a beam of excitement. Hermione swore under her breath and hastily moved to pack her bag so she could leave the classroom that was causing her so much stress.

"Are you heading to Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Ron approached her with a frown.

"Yes…not that I'm looking forward to it," Hermione groaned and began to walk out with Ron at her side.

"At least in Snape's class we won't be subjected to so much cheeriness. I thought I was going to go mad for a second there," Ron nudged her side and she responded with a laugh. As they filed out of the classroom Hermione caught Draco's eye as they crossed paths at the door.

"Move Malfoy," Ron took Hermione's elbow defensively. To her it was a friendly gesture but she could see Draco's disgust play out on his face.

"Are you two dating now? Weasley is a step down, even for your Granger."

Hermione stared at him as Ron led her out the door. Draco looked away with a snigger to Blaise before Hermione ran out of eyesight. "You didn't have to do that. I can handle myself," Hermione told Ron as she adjusted the strap on her shoulder. They stood by the door waiting for Harry as he spoke with his new biggest fan, Slughorn.

"I was just trying to help. You've been on edge for the last few weeks so another run in with Malfoy isn't going to help."

Hermione sighed and nodded in understanding. She couldn't deny her mood had been terrible but she could handle Draco. "I'm not a fragile flower that needs protecting. I appreciate your concern but I don't need it." Ron continued to look at Hermione, wondering if she was done scolding him. He wasn't convinced everything was okay with her. This past two summers had given him a chance to learn who the real Hermione was and she wasn't always the strong witch she presented to the world.

"I don't know what's going on with you but you're not alone. I reckon Harry has got that attitude handled all on his own" he told her and raised his hands in surrender before she could respond. She frowned and shook her head in response.

"I'm fine, Ron. I swear. I didn't sleep well last night so give me a break, okay? Look, I'll meet you in class. I don't particularly want to hear Harry's victory speech," she told him as she saw Harry leaving the classroom and walked away from their conversation. She could no longer blame her side mission for pushing her friends away.

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**Authors Note:** Thank you so much for reading! Please review when you get the chanceeeeee. Can you guess where she has smelled bergamont and cedar? Also, I hate how the movies portrayed Ron to be this brute, stupid character when in reality (in the books) he was the voice of information and reason a lot of the time. They often gave Hermione in the movie the lines of dialogue that belonged to Ron. So basically, I'm making him more attentive in this fanfic which may be a bit OOC but still holds some truth. I fully believe that Ron and Hermione became better friends over the summers Hermione spent at the Burrow. I'm hoping to post later on tonight so keep an eye out!


	5. Chapter 4

Song Rec: _DLZ_– TV On The Radio

* * *

He could feel her lips on his neck but that's all it was. There was no chill down his spine or jump in his groin. Maybe it was the fact that it was Pansy Parkinson. Maybe it was the fact that hi walking nightmares were distracting as fuck. Either way, she continued without skipping a beat. Her lips kissed down his sharp collar bone and to his chest. Her tongue glided over his right nipple and he breathed in, hoping to feel something. Anything. When a rush of pleasure never came he gripped the sheets in anger. He had no energy to even entertain the thought of touching her back. Her mouth made her way painstakingly slow down his toned torso towards the waistband of his underwear. He was involuntarily hard, his body wanted sex but those same feelings weren't translating to his head or heart.

"Do you want my mouth around you Draco?" she whispered throatily.

Draco rolled his eyes before looking down at her, letting out a deep sigh. "Sure."

Pansy leaned up on her hands and stared at him. "_Sure?_ What's wrong with you?"

"Do you want me to fucking beg? It's not going to happen that way, Pansy."

He had hoped this would be an adequate distraction from his recent worries but it had failed him. "Draco…are you even listening to me?" he heard her shriek as she placed a hand on his chest.

"Are we quite done here?"

"You invited _me_!" she crossed her arms against her chest. "What's been going on with you?"

"Nothing, nothing," tired of the incessant questions he got up and started to put on his trousers. "You can go. I'm sure there is someone else's dick you can suck."

Pansy gasped in shock and slapped him clean across the face. "How dare – what - You're not allowed to dismiss me like that!" Draco felt the sting from her hand on his cheek but had felt much worse over the years. Her slaps did not compare.

"I just did."

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Pansy stood up, hastily pulling on her clothes. "You're a prat, Draco Malfoy."

"Mhmm," was all he could respond as he nodded in agreement. There was no use arguing with her anymore on the issue. As she left the dorm room Draco stood up from the bed, stalking over to the mirror in the corner. He examined his thinned out body with scrutiny. Food seemed like the last of his worries lately and his lack of exercise was making him feel weak and scrawny. He still held some definition in his stomach and arms but he had hit his peak in his fifth year. Maybe after all of this was over with he could return to the things he loved; Quidditch, girls, and life.

The door behind him opened and shut quickly, a startled Blaise coming through it. "What in bloody hell did you do to Pansy? She's going on a rampage."

"I didn't do her…that's her problem."

Blaise's bark of laughter filled the room but Draco found it hard to join in on the laugh. Once Blaise's laugh died down the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Their friendship had become more and more strained as the weeks went by. There wasn't much to talk about seeing as Draco was a Death Eater and Blaise was not. Draco could feel Blaise's judgmental stares whenever Crabbe or Goyle asked him about his summer whilst living in the den of all things evil. Draco was already feeling like shit, he didn't need his best friend passing judgment on him.

"Did you see Granger today? She looked like hot air balloon in Potions. You'd think for a witch so smart she'd know a simple hair charm," Blaise commented as he sat on his bed, pulling out his textbooks.

"Granger and her fucking bumbling idiots are the last people I think about."

"You have to admit she's gotten a bit more attractive."

Draco looked at him with an incredulous look. "For a Mudblood."

Blaise scoffed and removed his sweater. "Aren't we a little old for that kind of shit now?" He looked at Draco who was dumfounded. "I mean honestly, are we to believe that Granger is _so _inferior to us when she's the smartest witch of our age? I don't like her know-it-all attitude but I'll be the first to admit she's proved everything our fathers said wrong about Muggleborns. I mean…she's more desirable than Pansy for Merlin's sake!""

"Are you fucking serious right now? Where is this coming from?"

Blaise stood up and rested his wrists on top of his head. "I don't know…Fuck!" his foot connected with the trunk at the front of his bed. Draco slipped on his shirt before sitting on his own bed, staring at his distraught best friend.

"Mother sent me a letter. Her and her newest husband informed me in the nicest way possible that I'll be receiving the mark during Christmas break. It's been decided."

Draco looked away as comforting words failed to form in his mouth. Two years ago Draco would have been disappointed his friend for not being excited. But they had both grown up and were seeing the world clearer every day. Blaise seemed to be closer to 20/20 vision.

"My mother has been manhandled by the current state of affairs to become involved with the Death Eaters. You-Know-Who needs more students here at Hogwarts… I-I don't want to be a part of that world. But fuck me…I look at someone like Granger and I know she is less than me. I want to hex her for no good reason simply because I've been told she doesn't belong here. Because I know if I had to, I would kill her if it meant me living. Maybe I'm meant to be a Death Eater. We're so fucking brainwashed, we can't even see it," he let out exasperatedly.

Draco sat shell-shocked at his friend's admission. The silence in the room continued as Blaise stood, his face in his hands. "I was planning on flying under the radar…never getting involved with any of this shit. I don't have any relatives who are Death Eaters so they couldn't drag me in without good reason."

Blaise looked at Draco finally with wide eyes. "They'll kill her if I don't do this."

His friend's dilemma was so much like his own that it made him get up and turn away from him. The feelings hovering in the room were too raw for Draco. He didn't do _feeling _very well anymore. The only way he could smother his sadness was by getting angry.

"What are you going to do then, hmm? You've never seemed opposed to calling Granger a Mudblood or being glad that the Dark Lord returned. Now all of a sudden you think you can turn new leaf –"

"- Don't add me in on what you've said and felt. I never join in with the rest of your fucking minions when you start going on a tirade about Mudbloods or You-Know-Who! I don't know what I'm going to do, okay?"

"There is nothing you _can_ do. You should be glad the Dark Lord is choosing you! What do you think will happen to those that aren't on his side when things turn to shit?"

Blaise shook his head and stared at the person across the room…Draco no longer looked like his friend. "Do you hear yourself? Do you think just because you're on his side you're going to survive?" Blaise stood up, his fists balled at his sides. "You are going to do unspeakable things to innocent people and then live the rest of your life in a cell in Azkaban like you're father. You're so much better than that – "

"Don't you fucking dare…" Draco's voice was too calm as he turned around to slowly face Blaise. "You of all people know not to go there – "

"- Then stop acting so STUPID! We're done, Draco: we've been handed the shittiest cards. How can you not see that?" he screamed, stepping toward his friend. "I don't expect you to agree with anything I've said but you're fucking smarter than this. You've been so shady the last month and you won't even tell your best mate what's going on! What does he have you doing?" Blaise searched for answers in his friend's eyes.

Draco ran a hand through his already messy hair and once again turned his back on his friend. He wanted so badly to tell his friend that his own mother would be killed if he didn't complete his mission. It would remove so much of the weight on his shoulders but he couldn't. It wasn't an option. "I don't know what you're going on about. This conversation is over."

"Fuck you! You don't get to dismiss me like Pansy. This is not over."

"Well you just sit here and wallow at the prospect of being a dirty, evil Death Eater like me."

"That's not what I've been getting at – "

"- But isn't it? I see the way you look at me. You assume I wanted this. My life has been sold to highest bidder. I'm just trying to survive, you fucking idiot. What else am I supposed to do?" Draco spat the words at him, his eyes bulging from anger.

Blaise rubbed the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh. "We can ask someone for help." Draco let out a deep, tired laugh as he shook his head, sitting on his bed.

"You call me stupid but you've got that covered well enough on your own. Don't involve me in your fucking grand scheme to save yourself."

Blaise stared at Draco and it took a few seconds for him to respond. "I'm going to think of something."

"You do that," Draco responded, sarcasm dripping off his words. "In the mean time I'll be working to keep myself alive a little longer." Draco picked up his bag from the floor and left the room without another word.

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Authors Note: So this chapter was particularly difficult for me to write. I've always been interested by Blaise and his elusiveness in the books. I needed a Slytherin to bring the voice of reason and Blaise seemed like the perfect person. I'm okay with maybe his character being OOC but do we really even know that much about him? There will be future interactions with Blaise and Hermione that I'm looking forward to writing. Thank you for reading and for those who have reviewed/added this story to their favorites. I reply to every review so let's chat! Thank you againnnn.


	6. Chapter 5

Ron handed the book over to Hermione only minutes after Harry had left to meet with Dumbledore. The tall, red head had a look of guilt on his face but Hermione was determined to search the book for clues as to who the Half Blood Prince was. Harry had casually said that the book had notes in the margins but didn't relinquish it from his grasp. It was suspicious to say the least. Hermione had sat in the Gryffindor common room for a good ten minutes tapping her foot impatiently, thinking of the contents of the textbook before deciding to sneak a peek. She looked up prepared to convince Ron to take it from Harry's bag but he had already read her mind. He nodded with a sigh before leaving his spot on the couch. Hermione couldn't help but grin at how predictable she had become.

"Thank you, Ron. I honestly don't see why he wouldn't just let me see it before. What's there to hide?"

"His secrets to being a better Potions student than you. You're ridiculous, I hope you know that."

Hermione rolled her eyes and opened the book in her lap. "He's cheating so he's not really better than me, is he?" Ron merely shrugged and looked over her shoulder at the book.

She flipped the pages as her eyes scanned the numerous tagging's by the previous owner. Near the end there were multiple blank pages interested that were filled from top to bottom with notes. There were words she had never seen before affixed on the page in ink.

"Are those spells?" Ron whispered and Hermione jumped, almost forgetting he was there. The notes had engrossed her and she could see why Harry was so fascinated with the Half Blood Prince.

"They are. They seem to be mostly defensive or harmless but this one," she pointed a slim finger to the one in the middle of the page. It looked as if it was scribbled angrily by the writer and she could only imagine why. "Sectumspemra." The spell would slash your enemy brutally all over their body based on the movements of the casters wand. Her brow furrowed as she suddenly felt like burning the book.

Harry didn't need to know any of the spells in this book…no one did. But it would be wrong to steal and destroy something that belonged to him. Hermione let out a sigh and closed to book slowly. Handing the book to Ron she leaned back in the couch as he got up to return it to its rightful position.

She needed to stop worrying about the Half Blood Prince and more about her first lesson with Professor with Snape that night. Hermione covered her face with her hands and muffled a loud groan.

* * *

"You're late."

"I apologize, sir. I needed to make sure I wasn't caught by patrol. It _is_ midnight after all," she told him.

"Don't smart mouth me. If it isn't enough Dumbledore has asked me to help another Gryffindor, he chose you. You will come on time or these lessons will end. You're here to learn, not waste my time."

Hermione stared at him defiantly as she removed her robe and laid it over a table. "I'm here to learn. That's all."

Severus Snape eyed her before turning his back to her. She had barely seen him except for class a few days prior. His seat in the Great Hall had been almost nearly as empty at Dumbledore's. It was beginning to make students nervous that Dumbledore was missing so early in the year. She hadn't even had a chance to speak to him since school started. Hermione had simply received an owl in the morning telling her a time and a place with the initials A.D at the bottom.

"You're here to learn the art of Occlumency. Knowing you, you have read every book imaginable on the subject. However, there is much more to it. Dumbledore thinks it is prudent for someone so close to Potter to learn how to block off their mind. I refused at the prospect of teaching Weasley…that would be a guaranteed waste of time."

Hermione furrowed her brow but didn't question his words. Dumbledore had failed to tell him her mission. Snape would find out eventually over the next few weeks so she wondered why Dumbledore was keeping secrets. The young witch decided to not question the older man's motives.

"Clear your mind and block whatever you do not wish your attacker to see," Snape told her and turned toward her again, his wand arm out stretched.

"_Legillimens."_

It felt like Snape was stomping through her memories and pillaging for information. She gripped the wand in her hand as she fought to keep him away. He released his hold on her brain and she opened her eyes with a gasp.

"Empty your mind! You are using your emotions to fight me but you need to remain in control. Again!"

Hermione braced herself for his attack but was not prepared for the ferocity he hit her with. She watched him stand next to her mother, her parents singing her Happy Birthday the year before she left to Hogwarts. "How sweet," he could hear him snarl and she bit her bottom lip in concentration.

She saw him in the reflection of the mirror in the bathroom she was crying in during first year. Hermione worked to clear herself of the emotions now being relived in her head. It was agonizing to feel Snape rifling through her mind, seeing whatever he pleased. He was witnessing her first kiss she shared with Krum last year. His face was now an imprint on cherished memories. She could see him rolling his eyes at the moments of laughter between her, Harry, and Ron. This wasn't meant to be seen by him. So she took away their laughter. She removed their faces.

Snape released the hold and leaned on the desk with a deep breath. Hermione stumbled back, keeping her hands on the table to balance her out. She could tell from the silence in the room that she had done something correctly. "That was a step in the right direction," he finally spoke.

Hermione caught her breath and brushed a stubborn curl out of her face. Memories were something she could manipulate but there were so many things running through her head; thoughts, dreams, knowledge. "Again."

"We're done for the night. You will gain resistance as your continue your lessons."

"I'm ready for another try," she told him in a matter-of-fact tone.

"It must be a shock for you to not be immediately perfect at something. I will not feed your ego, Granger."

"I'm not looking for your praise!"

Snape completely ignored her interjection as if she hadn't even spoken "Yet another example of your naïve, Gryffindor mind. Perfection cannot be attained in one night, especially by the likes of you. If you want to prove yourself, be ready for the next lesson. I will show no constraint."

"No one is going to wait for me to be ready. I need to be prepared for the future – "

"You cannot withstand another attack tonight. Despite how falsely confident you are," he held up a hand with a severe look on his face before she could speak.

"Don't make me repeat myself. We will meet again next week, same time. Shut off your mind every night. I will be able to tell if you've practiced. That is all." Snape turned his back to her as she stood there, fuming. Snape was telling Hermione Granger to do her homework…as if that even needed to be stated. She snatched her robe from the table and left the room without another word. Hermione never got to see Snape returning his memories from the Pensive into his own mind.

When she had finally managed to creep back into bed Hermione worked to clear her mind. She couldn't just forget emotion but she could push it into a box for later. _That_ she could do. Hermione began to pick at every moment she had in her brain and remove the happiness, sadness, and anger associated with them. They were just moments in history for no one to care about. They were only meant for her.

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**Authors Note: **Thank you for reading! Please review when you get the chance (:


	7. Chapter 6

The next few weeks flew by without much excitement. She hadn't looked into Draco's tempestuous eyes since Potions class in the first week of classes. Hermione was slightly relieved of that fact but knew she wasn't making any progress on her task from Dumbledore. All she could do was follow Draco and listen to his conversations. Some were boring but most were confusing. Majority of Draco's conversations were laced with words that had hidden meanings. At least the concealment charms she had been practicing over the summer were finally coming to good use. She was prepared to give him up the whole stalking thing until yesterday afternoon.

_ "__I want you to keep an eye on someone for me." Draco's low voice barely reached Hermione, who was hiding behind the adjacent wall. "You are not to interfere but you will watch to make sure Katie Bell leaves Hogsmeade with a package in her hands…I said Katie Bell. Don't look so vacant, Goyle. If she does not have the package you will receive further instructions. Understand?" Draco was growing impatient with Goyle's insolence and was prepared to perform a memory charm on him to make him forget they were even friends in the first place. Things were not going as planned the blasted cabinet and he was resorting to desperate measures. He felt pathetic and fraught with worry._

_"__Yeah yeah. What do I get out of this? You haven't even told me what it's for." _

_Draco grabbed the front of his robes and pushed him up against the wall, a hidden Hermione holding her breath. "What do you want? A fucking cupcake and a hug? You will do what I say without questioning me. Do you understand me?" Hermione could have sworn she heard Goyle whimper in response before Draco let him go. "Let's go." She could hear the rustling of clothes as they adjusted themselves before walking away, leaving a shocked Gryffindor in their wake._

Under the pretense of sending her parents a letter, Hermione borrowed Hedwig to send Dumbledore an urgent letter. She was freaking out and the unsually messy handwriting would make that obvious to the Headmaster. When Hedwig returned to her so quickly she breathed a bit lighter.

Hermione ran a hand through her hair as she approached the statue leading to Dumbledore's office. Her mind was so muddled with nervous contemplations that she had nearly forgotten the password. "Acid Pops," she finally spoke to the statue which responded with turning slowly to reveal a spiral staircase. She had never been to Dumbledore's office alone but there was a first time for everything.

Pushing through the door to his office Hermione found the Headmaster sitting at his desk, seemingly talking to Fawkes.

"You are quite right, dear friend – "

"Erm…Headmaster."

Dumbledore looked away from Fawkes with a smile at the young witch standing in front of the door. "Come in Miss Granger." Hermione moved cautiously into the room as she examined her quirky elder. She nearly waved to the bird to say hello before she remembered the phoenix couldn't reply…it was a bird. She was going mental. She quickly made to sit down in the chair across from Dumbledore's desk, her hands instantly fidgeting in her lap.

"How are you on this fine night?" The question seemed commonplace but in the moment it made her look at him sharply with a raised eyebrow. It was the first time they were meeting from school started and it was under such importance pretenses. What did it matter how she was doing?

"Fine, sir. I'm a little distressed but that's why I'm here. You see –"

"And classes are going well? I hear you have been recruited by Horace for his meetings. Was the first meeting worth recalling?"

Hermione suddenly felt exhausted. Was she freaking out over nothing? The push and pull of her emotions was becoming too much to handle. Dumbledore was making it seem like Hermione simply wanted to chat over tea which was definitely _not_ the case. She shook her head at his question and answered the only way she could. "If I'm to be honest, I don't find the chosen students to be nearly as interesting at Professor Slughorn believes them to be. Me, for example."

Dumbledore let out a throaty laugh that made Hermione involuntarily grin. "You are definitely interesting Miss Granger. Much more than you may want to believe." Hermione nodded quietly, looking down at her hands.

"But you came here for a reason. I have distracted us more than enough."

Hermione bought her hands to the arms of the chair and looked at him. "Draco is planning on giving Katie Bell something this weekend at Hogsmeade. I overheard him telling Goyle to make sure Katie had a package when she came back to Hogwarts. Is this something I should be concerned about?" she asked him, her eyes wide.

Dumbledore stood up and clasped his hands in front of his chest. "I fear Draco is becoming desperate."

"So it's something to do with dark magic?"

"I can only assume so."

Hermione was dumbfounded at the calmness in Dumbledore's voice. She wanted to scream at him to tell her what to do. "Sir…I'm lost here. I want to help but this is more difficult than I could have ever imagined. If Draco is giving something dangerous to Katie, why don't you go to his room and put him straight?"

"Oh dear girl, how will I explain where I heard this information? I do not think saying I heard it through gossip and rumors is adequate. Unless you would like me to sell you out as my spy?" Dumbledore looked at her through his half-mooned glasses, a smirk ghosting on his lips. She sat back in her chair as she realized the conundrum they were in.

"Now is the time where you take action. The last few weeks has been only preparation for how difficult it will be. You are going to be directly affecting his future with your actions this weekend. Are you prepared to do devious things?" he asked her, finally looking at the young witch. Hermione had been asked by Draco no more than a month ago if she had deviousness in her blood. She finally had an answer.

"Yes."

Dumbledore observed the girl in front of him before nodding. "You must not let Katie bring that package into the castle. Do not even let her touch it. Do you understand?" he stepped forward. Hermione nodded and sat forward in her seat. "Draco must see that resorting to dark magic is futile when the forces of good are working to protect Hogwarts. Maybe then he will realize that good will always prevail. He has goodness inside his heart but he is clouded by external forces we cannot control. We must protect his soul. If Katie were to get severely hurt, that guilt will build inside of him. This may not seem like an important moment Miss Granger but dark wizards become immune to evil over time. Progressively….Draco, like his fellow Death Eaters, will not know what remorse is."

Hermione took in his words and let them sink in. She wanted to believe Draco was a good person but his nasty behavior was contradicting. If Hermione trusted anyone, it was Dumbledore. So if the older man in front of her saw potential in a Malfoy…she would see it too. "How?" she final asked as their eyes met.

"That Miss Granger is up to you."

Hermione started at him for the longest time before letting out an exasperated sigh. Dumbledore walked to his chair once again. "And if I don't intercept it?" she willed him to tell her a straight answer. Hermione knew she was asking too much because he simply replied, "You must."

* * *

Hermione had it all planned out. Okay, that's a lie but she was hoping she had it all planned out. She had been seriously thinking of using Polyjuice potion to turn into Katie in order to directly receive the necklace from Goyle. But it was too risky and it seemed like Professor Slughorn was more diligent about checking the Potion's stock closet than Professor Snape. Therefore, she didn't have many choices how to stop the transfer. It had taken the entire week before the Hogsmeade trip to realize she had to be like Katie's second skin on the trip. Hermione would feel infinitely better if she was able to watch Katie like a hawk. So she did what she was learning to do so well; lie.

_"__Katie!" Hermione feigned excitement as she ran to catch up with the Gryffindor chaser. _

_"__Oh hey Hermione. What's up?" Katie and Hermione were friendly but had never had a full conversation. To say the least, it was weird that Hermione was even speaking to her outside the dormitory. _

_"__This is so embarrassing but I'm buying Ron and Harry their Christmas presents early seeing as I won't have time later in the term. I wanted to buy Ron a Quidditch gift, seeing as he's Keeper now. I figured you would know the best spots in Hogsmeade to buy him something. Do you mind helping me this weekend?" Hermione knew perfectly well where the best stores were to buy her best friends gifts but she needed to get an 'in' with Katie for the weekend. _

_"__I don't mean to be rude but why not ask Ginny? She is his sister and aren't you two friends?" Hermione let out an uncharacteristically girly giggle. She had been expecting this from Kaite and had a perfect lie to feed to the witch in front of her. _

_"__Well if I'm going to be honest, I think Ron has a bit of a crush on you. He's been a bit down so I was hoping I could talk him up a bit and then after we could all grab Butterbeers. But don't mention anything to him. He's terribly shy." She watched Katie blush a deep crimson and Hermione suddenly felt terrible for her deceitfulness. She just didn't see another way to keep Katie under her watch for the foreseeable future. _

_"__I had always thought Ron liked Lavender…that's just wonderful. Are you certain?" Katie gushed and Hermione nodded, holding back a grimace. Ron __**did**__ like Lavender but that was neither here nor there. "Of course I'll help you! Meet me in the common room so we can walk down together, okay?" Katie gave Hermione a tight squeeze. Hermione frowned as she pat the girls back before watching her new friend run away in happiness. _

_"__I'm a terrible person."_

So there Hermione was; sitting in the Gryffindor common room waiting for Katie to come down for their bonding session. Hermione didn't mind Katie in the least, she would have actually loved to be her friend. But this whole situation felt so wrong and fake. She could hear Dumbledore's voice in her head telling her that she _must_ stop Katie from being harmed. Hermione in that moment suddenly questioned why Draco had chosen Katie of all people. Was she the most unsuspecting, under the radar person in all of Hogwarts? And this package…Was she bringing something into the castle for his benefit or was she the target?

Her head was swarming with dead ends, one after the other. She nearly yelped as she felt a hand on her shoulder, the laugh of her fellow Gryffindor filling her ears. "Did I scare you Hermione?" Katie giggled as Hermione looked around to see the welcoming face of her friend.

"Just lost in my own head space. Happens more often than you think!"

"I've been the same ever since you shared Ron's little secret," Katie whispered to Hermione who inwardly groaned at the reminder of her lie. "Let's head out!"

"Lead the way," Hermione stood up and followed Katie out the door. It was the first time in forever that she wasn't spending time with her best friends. It felt odd but it was necessary. She had told Harry and Ron that she would catch up with them at the Three Broomsticks later in the day. Hermione had failed to mention Katie would be with her but why not add on to her white lies? She was counting on their presence so that Katie would have three people ready to protect her if anything happened. If Hermione could get to the Three Broomsticks with Katie then she would safe for the time being. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

**Authors Note:** I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I tried my own pathetic excuse for a cliffhanger but I'm excited to post the next chapter. It's going to be the first big step for Hermione showing Draco she's not his enemy. So please review, I would love any kind of feedback! **I'm still looking for a Beta so PM if you're interested.** Thanks agaaaain (:


	8. Chapter 7

Song Rec: Bones - MS MR

* * *

"Oh thank god you're here."

Hermione slipped into the seat beside Harry in the Three Broomsticks. Katie had pulled Hermione around for a good three hours before the pair made their way to the pub. At first, Hermione enjoyed the girl time but by hour two it became unbearable. Hermione had but so many emotions to share about a dress or about the random Ravenclaw boy Katie thought she would look cute with. It didn't help that Hermione had set herself up to blabber about Ron majority of their time together. By two o'clock Hermione made sure they were walking towards the Three Broomsticks.

"Where have you been?" Ron asked her, leaning forward to listen over the noise in the pub.

"I've been –"she stopped short as Katie walked over with four Butterbeers on floating in front of her.

"Hello everyone! Hermione mentioned you would all be meeting and invited me to come along!" The reaction from the table varied greatly. Hermione smiled at Katie as she placed the Butterbeers on the table, ignoring the stares of her friends. Harry shared a small smile, his eyes exposing his slight confusion. Ron didn't even try to hide his confusion as he looked at Hermione expectantly.

"How are you Katie?" Harry asked, recovering well from his confusion. Hermione was thankful one of her friends could play along for the time being. Katie was also on the Quidditch team so Harry had no problem adjusting. Ron, on the other hand, was looking uncomfortable as Katie shifted her chair to sit as close to him as possible.

"Oh I'm brilliant. Hermione and I did some shopping so that was good fun. How are you two?" Katie took a sip from her Butterbeer, her eyes bright. Ron shrugged, taking an unusually long sip from his drink.

"We're good," Harry answered for them. Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron as he inadvertently played up the idea that he had a crush on the girl sitting next to him. He was asking shifty and nervous but it was really because Katie kept pestering him with oddly personal questions about his life. They had never shared a full conversation since their time at Hogwarts so this sudden interest was dumbfounding Ron. "Do you use any product in your hair? It's so shiny!" she leaned her head on her hand as she stared at him, waiting for answer. "Some shampoo my mum sends me," he replied with an uncertain look on his face.

The conversation went on for another twenty minutes before Hermione had heard enough. "Katie!" she let out sharply to gain the wavering attention of the other Gryffindor. "Let's get around round, shall we?" Hermione stood up before Katie could respond and grabbed her arm to head to the front. Katie wrapped her arm around Hermione's as they ordered another four Butterbeers.

"I reckon it's going well. I see what you're saying about Ron being shy," Katie started as she leaned against the bar. "He's adorable, don't you think?"

"He's..." she looked behind her at the table with her best friends and shook her head. She had tried to convince herself before this year that she had feelings for either Harry or Ron. It just made sense that she would end up with one of them. The pressure from her peers, teachers, and her own young heart made either of them…adequate. It would be too easy to fall in love, get married, and have kids with someone she had known for years. She wanted difficult, passionate, and unexpected. It was stupid and illogical but that's what she wanted. She wanted someone to fight for her…not just settle. Hermione had given up on the idea of Harry in third year when she finally understood the meaning of their friendship and how valuable it was. Harry was her best friend and nothing more. On the other hand she had always seen Ron as someone she could go either way with. He was never particularly nice to her but she had also never given him the chance. Their summers at the Burrow had given them a chance to discover how they were as friends without Harry being the glue. Ron was courteous when he needed to be, loud, spirited (especially when it came to Quidditch), blunt, and loyal. Ron had proven to be the best friend she could have ever asked for. He had surprised her in the most pleasant way. "Ron is Ron…you get what you see but that's perfectly fine."

She smile at Katie who was looking at her thoughtfully. Hermione looked back to the table when she spotted Goyle lurking in the back. The bully's face reminded her of why she was there in the first place. This was a mission. She needed to get him away or threaten him into not doing something stupid. "I'll be right back." Katie nodded as she waited for the Butterbeers to appear in front of her.

Hermione made her way over to Goyle, ignoring Ron and Harry's looks of misunderstanding. She sat across in an empty seat from Goyle and placed her hands pleasantly in front of her. "How are you, Gregory?" Goyle stared at her with disdain before taking a long sip of his drink. "Where are your friends? I figured you didn't really go anywhere without Crabbe and Malfoy."

"I'm not a first year anymore. I can go wherever I want. I don't need anyone's permission."

"That's fair. Except for the fact that you're a liar."

Goyle gripped his cup with a tight fist as he leaned forward. "I'm done talking to you, Mudlblood. Get out of my face before I make you."

"But I'm not done talking," she leaned forward as well, her tone scathing. "Whatever it is you're up to…I'll find out. And I don't care if I hurt you in the process. _Now_ we're done." She stood up, never letting her eyes leave his. In most situations she would have never started a confrontation with anyone but this was necessary. He needed to know that her eyes were now always on him. When she turned around, Katie was no longer in her line of sight. Hermione rushed forward, pushing a random waitress out of the way to get to the bar.

"Where did the girl go that was just here?" she asked the man sitting two seats down. He raised a lazy finger in the direction of the bathroom and Hermione let out a relieved sigh. Once at the bathroom door Hermione could hear voices coming from behind the wooden door. She pushed through it quickly to find Madam Rosmerta pointing her wand at Katie.

Hermione immediately released her wand from her pocket to point at the older witches back. Madam Rosmerta made to turn her wand at Hermione but the younger witch was able to disarm her. Grabbing the foreign wand in the air she felt a pair of hands wrap around her neck. Her lower back made contact with a sink as she felt her breath escape her. Sputtering for air Hermione fought Rosmerta off of her before pointing her wand at her. "Stay back! What's wrong with you?" she shouted, shocked at the turn of events.

"I must do what I've been told. Nothing is supposed to stop me," the woman across from her sounded demented and a realization hit Hermione like an anvil. She was being controlled. Imperiused. Hermione used the first spell she had truly mastered to remedy the situation as quickly as possible, "_Petrificus Totalus_". Hermione attempted to grab the witch as gently as she could before laying her on the floor. On the tiled floor next the stiff body was a coin…so familiar but Hermione knew she had never seen it before. She pocketed it before looking up.

"Are you oka-"Hermione turned to where Katie was standing but the spot was empty…"Shit!"

Hermione ran from the bathroom in a haze and looked to the back of the bar to find that Goyle was also missing. "No…no…no…" she mumbled to herself as she left the bar, forgoing her jacket. It was cold outside but her adrenalin allowed her to run against the wind without a second thought. "Katie!" her scream shrill and loud as she finally saw the dirty-blonde up ahead on an empty path. "Stop! Katie!" she continued to scream as she ran to meet the girl. Hermione whipped around to hold the other girls shoulders to stop her from walking.

Katie looked up, dead behind her chocolate eyes. "I have to do this," her eyes wandered down to the wrapped package in her hands. Hermione's eyes widened as she stared at the thing she had been so worried about all week. The package Draco Malfoy wanted in the castle so badly. "I have to give it to him."

Hermione looked at up, startled at her words. She could hear the voices of her best friends coming up the path, but raised a hand to tell them to stop. Their worried voices ceased as Hermione grasped Katie again. The wind was suddenly whipping so fast as snow blew violently around them all. "Who?" Katie shook her head as if unable to speak. "WHO?" Hermione screamed.

"Dumbledore." And then it happened.

As Katie wretched herself from Hermione's grasp a small hole in her glove allowed her skin to touch the necklace that was slipping from the cloth packaging. It was like a ball of magic exploded between them as Hermione felt herself propelled backward into the snow, landing on her hip with a thud. Ron's voice, crying her name, reached her ears. She cried out in pain as she leaned on to her side to see if Katie was alright. Hermione watched in horror as Katie's body moved on its own accord and lifted into the air. Her mouth was agape in a silent scream as the snow around her frame stilled in time, the dark magic potent. Katie's face twisted and contorted into expressions of pure agony before slamming into the ground below. The seizing body of the Gryffindor chaser was forever burned into Hermione's mind, her brain too shocked to cry or scream.

She watched as Harry and Ron sprung to the rescue like true heroes. Harry approached Katie as Ron walked swiftly to Hermione's side. "Hermione, what the bloody hell was that? Are you okay?" Hermione had no response. She slung her arm over his shoulder as they stumbled slowly to the girl on the ground. "Harry…use your wand to fold the necklace in the wrappings and then levitate it," she directed him as Ron helped her put on her forgotten coat. "_Do not touch it_." Harry nodded and concentrated his attention on the necklace.

Hermione could tell Katie was still breathing and that was Hermione's saving grace for not breaking down in tears. She raised her eyes and looked around for anyone that could help before she saw Goyle, up further ahead on the path. He had been silently watching the entire time and when he realized Hermione was looking at him through a haze of snowy wind, he turned and headed to the castle. Hermione let out a deep sigh as she stared at Katie, her body shaking every few seconds from the residual dark magic coursing through her. It was then that Hermione realized the Slytherin Prince was willing to do _anything…_even use the strongest dark magic around.

"Harry! Ron! Hermione!" Hagrid's booming voice preceded his large body coming down the path as they stared solemnly at the ground. "Wha' happened?" he leaned down to examine Katie.

"We need to get to the castle," Hermione told him weakly and leaned more of her weight on Ron. "Please Hagrid, I'll explain later." Hagrid only nodded, his trust in Hermione surpassing his interest in answers. Katie was lifted into burly arms before the group made their way up to the castle.

* * *

Authors Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I really loved writing a bit of action. I think this chapter will help progress the story along a bit. The next few chapters will be Draco & Hermione heavy! Please review when you get the chanceeee. See you soon!


	9. Chapter 8

Hermione woke up with a gasp in an unfamiliar setting. Her eyes adjusted to the light in the empty Hospital Wing. She took the water from her side table appreciatively and downed the entire glass. It felt like she hadn't had liquid lubricating her throat in days. Memories of the afternoon debacle flowed into her brain and she closed her eyes in remembrance as she placed the glass back with a thump.

"You're awake!" Madam Pomfrey shuffled to Hermione's bed, worried eyes laying on the younger witch. Hermione was still taking a moment to herself as she opened her eyes slowly. She felt groggy and lost in time as the nurse took vitals. "You've been out for a day, young lady. I had to knock you out just to get you to lay down so I could fix your hip bone. I reckon your body needed the extra rest so you slept like a baby. You're a very stubborn girl but I'm sure you already know that." Hermione leaned back into the bed with a sigh as Madam Pomfrey continued to check over her.

"Where's Katie?" Hermione finally felt the words escape her mouth. Madam Pomfrey shook her head as stopped her movements. Hermione eyed her before leaning forward again. "What happened to her?" Hermione demanded, trying to keep her tone under control.

"The mediwizards from St. Mungo's couldn't wake her up. When they did a check on her it seemed like she had fallen into a coma but had a shell of dark magic around her," Hermione put her face in her hands. "They couldn't get close enough with their wands to administer the correct spells to check her heart or anything really. It's a guessing game at the moment. They say she will be there for at last three months…Poor girl."

The emotions rushing through her were hard to differentiate. She felt shame for not protecting Katie from a danger she knew was coming. She _knew_ something was going to happen and she still couldn't stop it. She felt weak for not outsmarting Draco _fucking_ Malfoy and his little dipshit minions. She felt anger for how many steps back the failure caused. Most importantly, she felt a fire build inside of her and she never wanted to feel this way again.

"Are you alright, dear?"

"When can I leave?" Hermione ignored the question and moved to get up from the bed. "Thank you for taking care of me but I need to see the Headmaster."

"You need to stay at least until dinner," Madam Pomfrey stated and began to walk away.

"I _need_ to see Dumbledore. I don't think you understand," the severity in Hermione's voice must have made the point clear to Madam Pomfrey who nodded, begrudgingly.

"I want you back here for a check-up after dinner," the nurse didn't wait for Hermione to object and turned away as Hermione pulled the curtain so she could get dressed. She got dressed as quickly as she could despite her incredibly sore body. Now that she was standing she noticed the small box of chocolates on her bed side table from Harry and Ron. They both knew she wasn't a fan of sweets but the effort on short notice was what counted. With a grin she placed it in her pocket before opening the curtains. As she walked out of the Hospital Wing she realized she would absolutely need to come back to the Hospital Wing after dinner to get a pain reducing potion but for now she had only one destination in mind.

* * *

The door to Dumbledore's office was already open when Hermione arrived. "Miss Granger, are you feeling better?" his voice reached her from his spot in the back of his office. Hermione stepped in and sat down as quickly as possible to alleviate the dull ache in her side.

"My body will recover but Katie…" she looked down at her feet with a shake of her head. "Everything went wrong, sir."

"Hermione, you tried your hardest. I will never doubt that. Please tell me what happened from the beginning."

Hermione let out a huff of air before retracing the story to Dumbledore. "We arrived at The Three Broomsticks with no issues. Katie and I were ordering more drinks when I saw Goyle at the back of the bar, as expected. I told him to stay away and warned him that I wouldn't let anything happen to Katie. But when I turned back…Katie was gone." Hermione gripped the arm of the wooden chair in frustration. She should have never let Katie out of her sight but that was not worth saying out loud. "I ran into the bathroom to find Madam Rosmerta pointing her wand at Katie. I disarmed Madam Rosmerta but then she tried to strangle me. When I finally pushed her away and handled her to the best of my ability… Katie was gone. When I caught up with her she was determined to bring the package…the necklace, into the castle for someone…" she trailed off and looked at him, remembering now what had happened.

"Did she say who that someone was?"

"You."

Dumbledore sat down in his seat and seemed deep in thought almost immediately. "Me…" he bought a hand up to his chin contemplatively. "No one can know this information, Miss Granger. Do you understand?" Hermione nodded in response but still had questions to throw at him.

"Is he trying to get to you? Is that what this is about?" she asked him plainly, her hands gripping the arms on her chair. "Sir?" she called his attention as Dumbledore examined the necklace sitting on the desk.

"I don't know, Miss Granger. I think he is trying to weaken the defenses of this school and I am the first person that came to mind."

Hermione stared at him wearingly, too tired to argue with him. She wanted to believe him but knowing Dumbledore she could only assume he was telling her half-truths. "There's more…" she pulled a coin from her pocket and ran her index finger over the carvings. "I found this on Madam Rosmerta. It's a protean charm. When I first found it there were words on it but at the moment it's blank. Draco is resourceful, I can admit that." Hermione stood up with a wince to hand the coin to Dumbledore.

"This is rather clever of him," Dumbledore rubbed the charmed coin between his fingers. Hermione fidgeted in her seat and eyed the coin.

"He stole the idea from me actually." Dumbledore looked at her quickly with an inquisitive glint in his eyes. "He was involved with Umbridge's patrol last year and got his hands on one of the protean charmed coins I used for the D.A," she explained. _Sneaky bastard._ Before she even knew she was helping him, Draco had been stealing ideas from her for his own benefit. It annoyed her to no end but maybe it was for the best now that she was well informed on the charm. However, she was more concerned on the part Dumbledore was failing to discuss.

"Sir…he used an Unforgivable on Madam Rosmerta." Dumbledore seemed to let her comment play around in his mind before looking up with a sad smile.

"I fear more students than just Draco are going to grow accustomed to use Unforgivables in the future. We must look past how faulted Draco is at this moment and work to prevent him from doing further damage."

Hermione was taken aback by his response and refused to give Draco a free pass. "Don't you think he's gone too far already? He almost killed Katie!" she nearly shouted and Dumbledore finally looked at her straight on.

"I feel absolutely dreadful for what happened to Katie. I wish I could have helped her but we must move forward."

"He's out of control! If I could just make it clear to him he has eyes on him –"

"That's not a possibility. He is determined to do whatever he has planned regardless of morality. We must show him in a different way."

"But don't you see what's happening here?" she shot up from her chair, her voice raising slightly. "He's lost to us. I can't help him!" she leaned back on the chair arm, pain surging through her side.

"You are closer than you think. Keep him accountable for his actions and he will see the light."

Hermione groaned and finally sat down, unable to stand the pain. She was sick of Dumbledore's vague guidance. "You need to help me. This is out of my reach." She hated admitting she didn't have the aptitude to handle Draco Malfoy but she was determined to stop him from causing more chaos.

"I will find a way. I cannot reveal my involvement but you have my support… you should get some rest, you have been through an ordeal."

"Katie has been through far worse thanks to me." Hermione stood up and limped to the door in silence.

"It's not your fault Miss Granger…" she heard Dumbledore tell her from his desk. She looked back with a sad smile before closing the door behind her.

* * *

"You're off your rocker!" Draco shouted and stood up from his seat in Snape's office.

"You're childish, disrespectful, and ungrateful but you don't hear me shouting about it," Snape stood from his own seat and stepped around it, grabbing the collar of the younger wizard. "How dare you talk to me like that…you will do what I say or else you will be under heavy scrutiny. You want that, hmm?" he asked, letting his go roughly. Draco stepped back and ran a hand through his hair.

"You will have a tutor for Transfiguration and Charms. I don't know who they are assigning you to but you will attend the sessions without running your month. Do not blame me for your insolence. You cannot skip class and assignments without it going unpunished."

Draco snorted with a shake of his head. "All of this is laughable. Who cares about my grade in fucking Transfiguration? No one even understands what is going to happen. I pity them."

Snape took a moment to examine the boy in front of him and would have been deeply saddened by the downward spiral Draco was taking. But his own heart and soul had taken its hits and was no longer capable of feeling empathy towards him. Instead those feelings fostered into anger. "You have made no progress in your mission from the Dark Lord. Stop acting so damn cocky in front of me. Enough with this façade. If you would let me help you there may be a chance."

Draco looked at him, his eyes betraying him by showing how hurt he was. "You don't believe I can do this."

Snape rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. "This is not about _you_, boy. It is about satisfying the Dark Lord and you must learn to accept help when it is given –"

"- But you're undermining my efforts and intelligence by saying that there _may_ be a chance. I will complete this mission. I _must_. I most ccertainly don't need _your _help." Draco grabbed his bag from the floor and turned away.

"Draco…You are not alone in this." Draco stopped moving as his hand reached for the door handle. Snape had always been more of a father to him that the one assigned to him by blood. He looked up to the Potions Professor for his strength and superior ability with magic. But now more than ever Draco admired him for persistently wanting to help despite his nasty attitude. Draco wanted to accept the appreciated aid from Snape but he worried that when the Dark Lord realized most of the effort came from Snape, he would be punished. And in turn; his mother.

"I'll be at the tutor sessions," he stated simply and left the room without a glance back.

* * *

Hermione's hand moved quickly across the chalkboard in the empty Charms classroom, notes for her afternoon drifting along the black surface. She loved the smell of chalk. It was one of the few things she could find that connected the Muggle and Wizarding world together. Nowadays, there weren't that many similarities between the worlds in her mind. The Wizarding world was distraught with the threat of Lord Voldemort and the Muggle world was blissfully unaware. Hermione often contemplated dropping everything Hogwarts had to offer and hiding away in the Muggle world. It would be cowardly and difficult but if it meant keeping her life…would she do it? Probably not but daydreaming about a life of no worries was a seductive pastime. She imagined leaving the country and falling in love with a handsome Muggle with an accent while attending University. Maybe she would go to France or Australia. Her parent's always mentioned wanting to go to Australia…

The door opened behind her and shook her from her thoughts. She finished writing on the board and examined the information spread across it. "Please just take a seat," she told the stranger and ran a hand through her hair.

"Granger?" an angry, familiar voice filled the room and the witch stilled. Turning around slowly Hermione laid eyes on Draco Malfoy…her newest tutee. This was not her idea of _help_ from Dumbledore.

* * *

**Authors Note**: There are a few things going on but it's all there for a reason. I wanted to kind of bring Draco and Hermione's stores together so showing hat their both up to is important. I really like where the story is going and hopefully now that we're about to get into the angsty stuff, it won't seem too cliche! Also, thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites (: I appreciate the love! See you soon!


	10. Chapter 9

Song Rec: _Make A Shadow_ - Meg Meyers

"Granger?" an angry, familiar voice filled the room and the witch stilled. Turning around slowly Hermione laid eyes on Draco Malfoy…her newest tutee. This was not her idea of _help_ from Dumbledore.

Hermione stared at Draco, her mouth agape at the shock of this entire situation. She was face to face with someone she knew had sent a cursed necklace to the castle. That same necklace had inadvertently almost killed Katie and landed her in St. Mungos for the unforeseeable future. Hermione suddenly felt like throwing up this morning's breakfast as she watched Draco move into the classroom towards her. Unconsciously, her hand wrapped around the wand in her pocket. How dare he come in here as if nothing had just happened?

"I refuse to be tutored by you."

Hermione's right eye twitched in annoyance but decided she needed to get this situation to her advantage. Regardless of how stupid she found Dumbledore's help to be, it was an opportunity. "You're far behind in two classes and I'm the only person capable of catching you up."

"I find that hard to believe," the blonde wizard scoffed with a roll of his icy eyes.

"I know you're shocked at the thought of a muggleborn teaching a pureblood but we have things to go over so take a seat," she couldn't help but throw an insult at him for good measure. He needed to know she wasn't going to waste her time arguing with him.

"Who do you think you are talking to me like that?" he dropped his bag onto a table as he stepped towards her.

"I'm the person that's going to make sure you don't fail your classes this term."

"I can manage on my own. I can't believe I even came here," Draco mumbled curse words to himself as he turned to gather his things.

"You're acting like I _want_ to be here. Like I _chose_ you."

"You would be lucky to even have me as a choice."

"Do you ever stop? Let's get this straight, you're a waste of space and I would rather snog a snargaluff plant that choose to be anywhere near you. You're a slimy git that doesn't deserve any of the effort the Professors are putting into you." Draco stared at her, his eyes on fire.

"You don't deserve to even be here." The words were harsh and barely managed to slip from Draco's tense jaw.

"Excuse me?" she willed him to give her a reason to attack him. She had realized in her verbal attack she had walked so close she could see his pale eyelashes.

"You're a filthy Mudblood that is unworthy of magic. I hope you realize how many people at the school hate you and want you gone."

Hermione wanted to be upset and punch Draco in his face but his words had struck a chord. But she refused to let him see her waver. With the war looming over her life she was starting to realize that her blood status might be the death of her. She no longer felt safe in Hogwarts with people like Draco Malfoy who were born with an unexplainable hate towards her. In her first two years, Hermione had tried so desperately to ignore the depressing train of thought but it was difficult when her environment constantly reminded her of her tainted blood. She had gotten over her trepidation quickly but despite herself, she let a bully weaken her confidence with weightless words. Now, insults about her blood status would be more than words…it would be curses from a wand.

"Is it because I'm better than you?" she asked, her voice small but her words hitting him like a ton of bricks. In his sleepless nights Draco often blamed himself for not being as smart as the Gryffindor Princess. She, of all people, would find a perfect way to complete the mission handed to her. Ever since his conversation with Blaise, his mind had been spinning with 'what ifs' and uncertainties. Her words hit a place in his head that had already been ruminating over the idea of her worth. It was so much easier to scream in her face how worthless she was than to admit for even a second he envied her. "Is that why you hate me so much?"

"You wish that was why. You're an annoying, insufferable _bitch_," his tone rough as he stepped forward, his height coming to his advantage. "If I could, I would send you to St. Mungos."

Hermione's hand rolled into a fist as she let out a low growl. "I'm not the first person you'll have sent there," she dared him to deny it. If she hadn't been watching for it, she would have never noticed the flick of fear in his eyes. "Or am I wrong?" she asked, seething with anger.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Has Potter been feeding you his bullshit again?"

"Just like the bullshit your father feeds you?" she quickly retorted, not missing a beat. His eyes were a storm of conflicted emotions before he turned away swearing under his breath.

"I'm going to leave before I hurt you beyond repair, Granger."

It was so unlike Draco to walk away from a fight and Hermione was still enraged at how dismissive he had just been. She watched him walk away from her and the anger inside her built quickly. So she did something stupid and childish but at the moment it felt amazing.

"What? Are you afraid of me?" she raised her wand and whipped a curse past his shoulder. He turned around in shock and nearly stumbled into a table.

"_You bitch,"_ she stood her ground as Draco dropped his bag and quickly raised his wand, throwing a _Stupefy_ at her with strength. She managed a shield charm but was thrown off balance by the force of his curse.

"_Avis!_ _Oppugno!" _she shouted and a flock of small birds flew down, taking Draco off guard as they swooped down to attack him. He managed to protect himself from the majority of the beaks but Hermione could see a few bloody peck marks of his hands. They continued back and forth with fervor, their breaths fast and heavy.

"_CRUCIO!" _the words fell from his mouth with ease. She deflected his curse with a shield and the severity of the words registered in her mind. The silence in the room was palpable as Hermione paled and Draco backed up against the door. His eyes were filled with immediate remorse as he stared at her. His mouth opened as if to apologize she shook her head.

"Y-you…" she started, at a loss for words. It didn't take long for her to regain her voice. "_What's wrong with you?" _The words played in the air for a few moments before Draco picked up his bag and swiftly exited the room. Hermione felt tears well up in her eyes and she just let them fall.

* * *

Authors Note: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I wrote this chapter twice and the first way was completely different from this version. I prefer this version better seeing as Draco and Hermione are still at odds with each other. This is a bit short but next chapter they will be forced together again before holiday break! Please review when you get the chance (: See you sooon!


	11. Chapter 10

Hermione's shivering hand hovered over her mouth as she dropped into a nearby chair. She was crying for the tumultuous events that had just taken place. For the stupidity in her actions. For the darkness that was devouring Draco's soul and maybe her own.

As she sat in the empty classroom crying, Draco was racing down a hallway with tears in his own eyes. He understood what he did was wrong but as he walked it seemed like he was furthering himself from remorse or guilt. Granger had picked a fight and when he had introduced reality, she couldn't handle it. Draco let out a dark laugh as he heard Blaise's voice in his head, _"You're a fool. You stepped over the line just like our fathers taught us. You're a fool." _Draco ran a furious hand through his hair as he turned a corner towards the Slytherin dorms. He felt like he was going fucking crazy.

As he entered the dorms Draco no longer had the beckoning calls of his friends to greet him. His eyes caught Pansy's as she sat in the corner talking to Theodore Nott and Adrien Pucey. He held her gaze for only a moment before looking away with a grunt, pushing past a first year to go to his room. It was slowly hitting him that he had no friends. He only had the mission.

Draco suddenly felt sick to his stomach as he rushed to his room. He _felt_ evil. He felt darkness creeping inside of his veins and taking over his mind. His heart was slipping away and it scared him. What he did to Katie was unspeakable…what he almost did to Granger was unthinkable. Despite everything he believed…it would have been incredibly difficult to forgive himself for casting an Unforgivable on Granger. He hated her but did she deserve that pain?

That morning's breakfast spewed from his mouth into the toilet bowl at the thoughts running around in his mind. _"What's wrong with you?" _Granger's words pushed to the forefront of his mind as he sat back and leaned his back against the tiled wall. Who was she to make him question his own identity? He wanted so desperately to hate her but as of late, she had been the only one to test and challenge his mind again. To make him feel again. Blaise had been wistfully ignoring Draco. The rest of his friends were just a bag of dicks. The Gryffindor Princess didn't just see through him like everyone else, regardless of the disgusting human being she _did_ see.

His head found his hands as he mourned the inevitable loss of his soul. This was out of his control. He didn't have time to fuck around with Granger and argue like they were first years again. But he was out of ideas and out of his mind.

He must have sat there for half an hour before he realized he needed to figure out his next plan. Unlike his father, he wasn't going to let himself or his family down. Slowly, Draco found the strength to stand up. He silently rinsed his face with water before leaving the bathroom.

He had to kill Dumbledore. Or die trying.

* * *

Time flew by and more snow took residence on the grounds of Hogwarts. Hermione had been avoiding any type of contact with Dumbledore…when he _was_ around. The Headmaster had left her on her own and while she was grateful for the slackened pressure, she still felt like Dumbledore was constantly looking over her shoulder to see her progress. Things with her friends hadn't been going exactly as planned either. This was supposed to be the year before their last…they were supposed to be enjoying it. Hermione knew that there was a large chance she would not be at Hogwarts during her seventh year. She had accepted that fact. So taking advantage of the precious moments she had left was important to her. It had turned out in fact that she was making everything about the Boy Who Lived instead of relishing in the year. Harry had been acting especially testy lately and the dangerous Potions textbook was attached at his hip. It infuriated her that he was hiding things from her and Ron. He had even pretended to slip his Felix Felicis into Ron's drink which had caused a stir between the three of them. Ron, who had been less combative, was upset that Hermione was trying to ruin their fun and chances of winning. Deep down, there was much more to it.

_"It isn't about that! I believe in your talent without using a damn luck potion. Can we just admit that Harry is being ridiculously impulsive and secretive? That's why I'm upset."_

_"He's not the only one being secretive."_

_Hermione's eyes widened as she stared at him before looking down at the table. Ron had come to her in the library to tell her off but it was turning into a rather emotional conversation. "What are you talking about?"_

_"Stop Mione. You're up to something and you're not telling anyone. You're not telling **me**."_

_Ron stepped closer to her and around the table, reaching his hand out to touch her arm. She stared down at his hand and shook her head. She was about to break...about to spill to him all of her secrets. To the outside viewer this would have been a tender moment between lovers. Instead it was best friends who needed each other more than ever. Maybe if they were other people they would cling to each other for love but their relationship wasn't about that. Hermione was convinced it never would. They were trying to hold on to their connection while everything else seemed to be slipping away._

_"Do you trust me?" she asked him, her brown eyes finally meeting his._

_"You know I do."_

_"Then stay out of it. There **is**__something I'm doing…Dumbledore-"she cut herself off and took his hand in her own. "I want to be in the moment and be present but it's difficult." She paused and closed her eyes. She felt like crying and for the first time in months, she didn't feel shame. "I'm scared of what will happen if I don't succeed." Ron searched her eyes for answers but her lessons with Snape was teaching her how to shield off her true feelings. _

_"Is this about what happened with Katie? Do you know more about that?" his questions were warranted and Hermione wiped away her tears with her free hand. _

_"Yes…and no." She breathed her answers as he furrowed his brow. _

_"Hermione…what are you getting yourself into?"_

_She decided she was going to deflect in an effort to stop herself from sharing too much. "I'm sorry I've been distant. I want to enjoy this year…not be a killjoy. I'm sorry, okay?" she told him sincerely, tears pooling in her eyes. Ron was wary as she asked for his forgiveness and couldn't help but wrap his arms around her shoulders to hug her. Hermione embraced and was glad to know she wasn't losing at least one person in her life. Even if they had gotten past this roadblock, she left the library with a heavy heart. _

Hermione stabbed at her chicken as she glumly stared at Draco Malfoy from across the hall. The whole incident a few weeks ago didn't go away like she hoped it would. The night after the duel she had Occlumency training with Snape which resulted in the entire fight being played out to the professor. Snape was furious and screamed at Hermione like she was the only one at fault. It wasn't until Hermione politely reminded her teacher that Draco had almost used_ Crucio_ on her had he stopped screaming. It was odd seeing the usually hardened teacher look remorseful for the actions of the younger Slytherin. But it revealed just how concerned Snape was. Hermione left their session soon after the screaming bout because the look on Snape's face was too much to handle.

No more than two days later, Snape reassigned Draco a new tutor. His new tutor was Hannah Abbott, a capable and sweet girl that would tutor Draco adequately.

Draco had continued his work on the vanishing cabinet in an effort to make as much progress before Holiday break. He had been tempted to stay during Christmas break but that would have been suspicious to anyone who knew of him. His decision rested heavily on the fact that he never stayed at that good forsaken school more than necessary. It didn't help however that he was forced to still be in the same vicinity of Granger. At the present moment he could feel her honey colored eyes boring holes into his head. Despite the mutual avoidance he could often feel her cursing his existence.

He hated himself for admitting that Hermione was the best option for a tutor. Draco didn't even need to be taught. He just needed a reliable student to tell his professors he was putting in effort and not cheating. He also needed someone who was willing to be in the same room as him. He often laughed at a Gryffindor's pride but they stuck to their word. Draco was now desperate seeing as Hannah requested a change. Draco lacked patience and Hannah was too sweet for her own good. Draco wanted to "hurry the fuck up" while Hannah wanted to "slow down and understand fully". At least Granger had backbone. Snape told him no less than a week ago that he had taken the liberty of asking Granger yet again to be his tutor. How daft was he?

Unsurprisingly, Hermione had denied Snape's request. She refused to be in the same room as the hot blooded blonde that was presently ignoring her glare from across the hall. He was desperate to pass his classes, get everyone off his back, and move on with his life. It killed him that Granger was the answer to his problems. When she finally peeled her eyes from him she stood up to gather her things. She ignored Harry as he seemed to speak to her. _Trouble in paradise,_ Draco smirked without realizing it. His smirk dropped as he watched Granger pass her hand over Weasley's back as she left. When she finally exited the Great Hall, Draco stood up from the table and left to catch Granger while she was one her own. She was undoubtedly going to the library but seemed oblivious that anyone was following her. When she quickly turned a corner he stepped up his pace to only be met by a wand in his face.

"What the hell do you want?" she spat out at him as he stilled at the look in her eyes.

"Put the wand down, Granger. I'm not looking for trouble".

Her bark of laughter filled the hallway and she only held the wand tighter. "Don't make me laugh. _You _not looking for trouble. You're trouble in human form." She watched his lips quirk up in small smile which infuriated her. "What's so funny?"

"The same could be said of you and your two boy wonders," he crossed his arms against his chest. "It's a shock you three haven't gotten expelled after all the shit you get into." The disgust dripped off his voice as she stepped closer to him, her patience wearing thin.

"Oh, like trying to defy Umbridge? I would rather have been expelled then be her lap dog."

Draco raised an eyebrow at her testy, sassy remark but said nothing of it. He had to admit now in hindsight that playing Umbridge's lackey wasn't as grand as he thought it was going to be.

"Did you follow me to piss me off or do you have something of substance to say to me?"

The taller wizard straightened his back as he remembered why he had followed her in the first place. "I need you to tutor me." It took all the strength in him to tell her that simple statement and by the look on her face, she knew it too.

"I don't have to do _anything_ for you," she finally let out with a scoff. "You have some nerve coming to me for help after what you did."

Draco's mind flickered back to that moment in the classroom with disdain. He would never apologize to Grangers face for what happened but only he was aware of how many times he had regretted it over the past few weeks. "It won't happen again."

"It shouldn't have happened in the first place."

"Look: something we can both agree with. What do I need to do for you to help me? And for fucks sake, lower your wand so we can have a fucking civil conversation."

Hermione stared at him straight in the eyes before shaking her head and turning away from him, lowering her wand. "I _was_ willing to help you. Despite what everyone else may think, you're still a person. A living breathing person and that means something."

Draco furrowed his brow as he stared at Hermione's profile, her eyes on the floor. She was willing to help anyone, it seemed. He just couldn't grasp that. He doubted the witch in front of him would be able to exercise the same amount of altruism for the second time.

"But you think you deserve help inherently, don't you? You have to earn help and respect. You've tainted these hallways for me with nasty remarks, filthy looks, and negativity that is so hard to forget. Now that you need me…you want me to drop all of that and forget it ever happened?"

"What do you want me to say? Sorry?"

"No!" she turned to him again, furious. "I don't want your apologies. I want you to stop being so daft and see that you'll never be willing to earn anything. And now you're wasting my time." She was about to walk away from him before he grabbed her arm, roughly at first but gently as he felt her skin.

"I will earn your help. Please." His words slipped through gritted teeth as she stared at him, incredulously. If Snape found out he wasn't getting his shit together, Draco would be fearing more than Voldemort's wrath. The last thing he needed was to fail his classes at Hogwarts when he had so much more going on. Hermione brushed his hand off her arm with a huff.

"You're still far behind in work and the only way you're going to catch up is if we work every night until break. Are you willing to do that?" she asked him with a cocked eyebrow.

He grimaced and was prepared to walk away and find a different way to handle his academic situation. Instead he found himself nodding and standing up straighter. "You won't breathe a word of this to anyone." Draco now found himself with a new tutor and plans for every night for the next two weeks.

"Trust me, I don't want anyone to know I'm helping you. I still can't believe I am," she brushed past him, no longer interested in wading through books at the library. "Meet me in the Restricted Section tomorrow night at around 10. The door to the library will be open. If you're late, you're officially on your own." She didn't care to turn around or listen for his response. She was gone

* * *

Authors Note: This took a bit longer than expected. I kept re-reading, re-wording, and adding more to it. I wanted to give a complete insight on what's been happening and move the story along a bit in a way that flows. Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Please review (recommendations, comments, advice), favorite, and follow (:


	12. Chapter 11

Song Rec: Change - Churchill

* * *

"Just admit you like her."

Harry jumped as Hermione slid into the spot next to him in the Great Hall. There are been radio silence between the two as of late but Hermione's conversation with Ron had opened up her eyes. She wasn't going to stop holding Harry accountable but she could at least cut him some slack. After taking the time to think about it, she realized he was doing exceptionally well for someone who just lost a loved on. In the midst of everything Hermione had somehow lost track of what went on mere months ago.

"I-I don't-"

"Ginny. I see the way you look at her." Hermione casually fixed herself a plate of breakfast as Harry stared at her, dumbfounded.

"So _now_ you're talking to me?"

Hermione looked at him with a laugh. "As if you haven't ignored me or Ron over something utterly ridiculous. Get over yourself, Harry Potter."

Harry couldn't help but grin in acknowledgement of his past silliness. "So what if I like Ginny? Nothing will come of it. She's Ron's sister."

Hermione simply shrugged contemplatively at his comment. "You'd be surprised how understanding Ron can be. He'll be an idiot at first but I think he'd rather have you date Ginny than any other person in this school. Maybe hold off saying anything at the moment. He's been in a bit of a mood with Ginny dating Dean and all that." Harry seemed relieved at her comment and nodded in his head.

They sat in a comfortable silence until Harry final cleared his throat and looked at her with remorse in his eyes. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I've been an ass."

"You have…" she murmured as she took a sip from her tea, a grin forming on her lips. He looked at her with a laugh and at her sly comment. "But I forgive you. I've been a bit mess myself."

Harry reached a hand to rub her back with a smile as Hermione lifted her eyes to only find Draco Malfoy staring right at her. She worked to control her breathing as a multitude of emotions spurred through her. Why was he staring at her with such…hate? Jealousy? She couldn't decipher the look in his eyes as Harry took her hand back to eat the rest of his meal. She lowered her eyes quickly before glancing up at him to only see the Slytherin's eyes glued to her. Hermione raised an eyebrow, non-verbally asking him 'what the bloody hell his problem was'. He only raised an eyebrow before looking away with an eye roll. Hermione straightened her back at his facial expression. How dare he make her feel embarrassed for doing absolutely nothing! She quickly told Harry she needed to go to class early and grabbed her bag from the table. Hermione didn't even waste a glance at Draco again.

* * *

Why did he care that Harry _fucking_ Potter was touching Granger's back? For one, Potter didn't deserve any happiness in this world, especially when it came from Granger. The insufferable hero was going to hurt Granger in the long run. She was too blind to see it. As much as he hated her, Draco had determined that Hermione had one of the purest souls he had ever come across. She did everything with good intentions and was even willing to help him. He didn't want her soul to become tainted by the likes of Potter. If anyone was going to ruin her it was going to be himself.

Draco looked away from Granger with a roll of his eyes at his own thoughts. He thoroughly believed he was becoming delusional from the lack of sleep.

The days went by quickly in a haze of lectures and raised hands. After her conversations with her two best friends things were beginning to go back to normal. However, she still felt guilty for what she was hiding from them. They would never forgive her for the things she knew. In third year the three of them had promised each other that there would be no secrets. But Hermione had a job. If Ron was given this task then he would do the same. Right?

The guilt was progressively hitting her harder now that she was currently sneaking out of the common room to go to the library after hours almost every night. To meet with Draco Malfoy no less! However, she had been able to find out some information purely from tutoring him. He had been particularly interested in the conversation on objects that have a connection between them. They had even deviated from the conversation a bit when he asked her about Fred and George's incident with Montague just the year before. In the midst of it, Hermione was glad they could discuss stories but then it hit her a few days later. The cabinet Draco had been viewing in Borgin and Burkes could have a sister.

She had tried to take the information to Snape but he was dismissive as usual. So she had started studying magical cabinets in hopes of beating Draco to his own finish line. She had come to the conclusion that the cabinets were transportation between two locations. But to connect them was so much more difficult than she had expected. If he was trying to transport people into the castle…she had to stop him.

She was ten minutes early this particular Tuesday, a week after their meetings had commenced. They were almost done with all the material he was missing which was satisfying for both of them. Hermione was s surprised to find Draco sitting patiently in the Restricted Section.

"You're early." She said it matter of factly which received no real response from the Slytherin. He kept his eyes on his book, promptly ignoring her. "Draco."

Draco looked up, a bored look drenching his silver orbs. "Can we get on with it?" he asked her icily and she crossed her arms against her chest.

"What's wrong with you?"

"What does it matter?"

Hermione contemplated his question and dropped into a seat across from her. "We've been civil to each other for the last week. I think you can tell me what's wrong."

Draco stared at her and uncrossed his legs, placing his book down. "Are you trying to insinuate that we're friends? That will never happen."

"I'm not insinuating anything." She paused and opened up her book to the current chapter they were on. "Do you even have any friends? I never see you with anyone."

"Have you been watching me?" he asked her with clenched teeth. His answer had betrayed him as it was obvious then that he really had been a bit of a loner lately.

"No! I'm just so used to seeing you with Crabbe or Goyle…now that I think of it, I've barely seen them around." She put down her quill to think of that fact. Where were they going? Now that she was on speaking terms with Harry she would be able to use the Marauders Map to check in on the threesome. How had she missed that?

Draco watched Hermione try to figure out their whereabouts over the last few weeks which only made him nervous. Little did Hermione know, they had been disguised and standing guard in front of the Room of Requirement as he worked on the cabinet. Besides that, Draco had asked them to lie low in case someone tried to question them.

"Look, I'm not going to tell you shit about my life."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes and began to dive into that night's lesson.

She was on fire tonight and it was a wake up to this system from the radio silence he received in his own dorm. Hermione spewed off fact over fact and eventually stood up to lecture him on Switching, a rather fascinating subset of Transfiguration. Draco wanted so desperately to hate these tutoring sessions but her voice calmed him down. She wasn't talking down to him or making him feel like he was the lesser human being he felt he was. Despite his better judgement, he still liked baiting her and seeing what kind of snarky response she could come up with.

"Okay, that's all for tonight. Pass me the notes you took so I can hand them off to Professor McGonagall."

He slid the notes to her and stood up, shoving his books in his bag without a word to her.

"You could be more polite to me, you know."

"I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not, Granger. If you're looking for the special treatment you get from your little _boyfriends_ then you're in the wrong place. I mean, damn Granger, haven't you had enough from two wizards."

Hermione was taken aback from his comment and shook her head furiously. The silence in the room was almost unbearable before she asked him, "What are you talking about?"

Draco raised an eyebrow with a smirk before leaning forward on the desk. "You are with Potter and Weasley, aren't you? Couldn't get enough of one of the bumbling idiots so you had to have both."

Draco didn't know how she did it with such quickness but she had stepped forward and slapped him across his cheek with ferocity. He closed his eyes in pain and stood up straight, his hands leaving the table. When he finally opened his eyes she was standing there with flames in her eyes.

"You're such a Muggle. You immediately turn towards physical violence instead of using the wand you've been lucky enough to use."

Hermione felt the fire building inside of her like never before. "The last time I used my wand on you, you nearly tortured me. I know you're keen on carrying on your fathers legacy but I'm not interested in letting a Malfoy make a victim of me."

Draco stepped around the table and gripped a chair, daringly close to her. "You _shut the fuck up_. You – "

"No!" she raised her voice and stepped forward, closing the distance between them. "Don't dish out what you can't handle!" she poked his chest daringly. "You aren't allowed to talk to me that way without receiving some of it back. You're such a hypocrite, do you realize that?" she asked him suddenly, her eyes blazing.

"I'm done here."

"No, we're not done! What are you running away from? A lowly Mudblood is finally beating you at your game?" she was nearly screaming now. Things had been going so well between the two of them and she was almost beginning to think that Draco had come to terms with his issues with her. How naive she was. Just because they had shared a few civil conversations not ending in shouts of anger didn't mean that he had changed. He would always be Draco Malfoy.

"You're not worth the breath. We've already spent two bloody hours, why should I be here any longer? I have more important things to be thinking about then arguing with you.

"Like what?" she breathed as his knees hit the back of the table, his eyes wide.

He faltered and shook his head. No one had bothered to ask him what he was up to his in free time and now that Granger was in his face he didn't have an answer.

"Why do you pick fights with me that you can never finish?"

"You confuse me and it frustrates me to no end. Fighting with you is easier than accepting you."

The answer was quick and something that Draco had thought about often in the last few weeks. Granger had never done anything to him except being a Mudblood and associating herself with Potter. His father had basically substituted his bedtime stories for monologues depicting her kind as evil and foul. But where was the proof?

"What do you mean?" her voice bought him from his thoughts.

"You're so impure. You're supposed to be my enemy. And yet you're…being nice to me. Why?" he was suddenly growing needy for answers, his hands found her arms.

"Get off of me," she tried to pull herself away from him with hast.

"Tell me why you're being so nice to me. I've been waiting patiently for you to ditch me and realize just how foolish you were to help me in the first place. Why haven't you realized that yet?" he was pushing her back into a bookcase with recognizing it.

Hermione was shocked at the desperation in his voice and felt herself loosen in his hands. He was confused by her presence in the room…in the world. Was this what Dumbledore wanted her to do? Open up his eyes.

"Because you're lost. You're just one person, Draco. You seem like you're carrying the world on your shoulders but you're just _one person_. I have to show you kindness…not as a pity case but because it's the right thing to do. Even you deserve someone…that cares despite everything. Whether that's me or someone else, shouldn't matter. Isn't that enough?"

She knew she had said too much, too soon by the look in his eyes. Hermione watched as his eyes closed and his head bowed. His hands were still on her arms but they had softened significantly. They stood in silence before Draco removed his hands from her skin. The loss of warmth that he had given her in the cold library was a shock and she shivered before gaining composure. He turned away from her and pulled a hand through his hair. His muscles stretched his shirt as he raised his hands over his head. This was all too much for him. First, Blaise and now Hermione _fucking_ Granger. Why couldn't things be simple?

He wanted to badly to scream at her and tell her that he had all the people he needed. He wanted to make her stop caring and to stay away from him. He wanted to be her downfall. But he was tired. He was so tired of the pretending to be strong and avoiding emotion at all costs. The way she had said his name with such care instead of spite was what drew him over the edge. His name hadn't been spoken so lightly in so long that he had almost forgotten how it sounded. His hands fell to his side in exhaustion. "Draco?"

She was now in front of her as he turned around and held her gaze. "Is that enough for you?" she asked him again, softer this time.

He could say yes and end the fighting. He could say no and forget mending his past mistakes. "I don't know."

Hermione hadn't been expecting his response but nodded anyway. He moved silently away from her, picked up his bag, and left without another word.

* * *

Authors Note: Sorry this took so long to post! I wanted to make sure I really stayed true to the characters and didn't rush things. I've been so tempted to jump right into the juicy stuff but I rather like the build. I think this chapter is a real turning point but we still have Slughorns party! Thank you for the love on the previous chapters. Keep it coming & stay tuned for updates.


	13. Chapter 12

Song Rec: No Rest For The Wicked - Lykke Li

* * *

Her mind was still reeling over the conversation with Draco the night before. He had somehow slipped into her mind all day without her realizing it. It was difficult for her to come to terms with the real reason Dumbledore had given her the mission. On top of babysitting him, Hermione was supposed to make Draco a better person. She was supposed to challenge his ideals and make him realize that she wasn't the actual enemy. His father was. Lord _fucking_ Voldemort was.

Hermione smoothed her dress as she eyed herself in the mirror. Tonight was Slughorn's Christmas party but she was in no mood to celebrate. The party was doubling as an opportunity to congratulate those who had been chosen to join the Slug Club. In the chaos of being invited to all the dinners Slughorn held she had never actually chosen to be a part of his club. Like she ever had a choice in anything lately.

She had decided to go stag to the party because going with someone like Cormac would be unbearable. Hermione had come to a point where she no longer had the capacity to care about boys. Ginny had been pointing out all the guys who were interested in her but she wasn't having any of it. If anything…Draco was her boyfriend at the moment. She spent so much bloody time watching him, making sure he was safe, and helping him with his research behind the scenes that he might as well be her boyfriend. The research was in second place to be her current beau.

It had taken her a week to figure out what he was up to. After their unusually polite conversation about the cabinet in the Room of Requirement Hermione had come to the conclusion he was trying to link the cabinet in Hogwarts with the cabinet sitting in Borgin and Burkes. The fact that an infiltration of Death Eaters into the castle hadn't happened yet, she could only assume the one in Hogwarts was broken. So he was trying to mend it.

Hermione was slowly understanding the weight of Draco's role in the Death Eaters. They had left him with the biggest task…he was their key into Hogwarts. If he didn't succeed, then that was another year wasted. So why send the cursed necklace to Dumbledore? To keep him out of the way so Draco could work uninterrupted? Hermione was wading through questions without an answer in sight. She did know one thing for certain; the vanishing cabinet was some of the most complex magic she had been exposed to since the Polyjuice Potion.

Mending regular furniture was second year magic. However, mending a connection between two points in time was advanced Transfiguration. To transport two human beings from one point to the next without a portkey and outside of the Apparition limitations…it was an impossible task. She was also dabbling in dark magic seeing as a cabinet with such power could trap someone in limbo. It could leave them floating in an abyss with no way out. If Draco screwed up, all of his Death Eater friends would be trapped.

It was tempting for Hermione to mess with his plans and essentially take out well known killers but that wasn't in her blood. It also wasn't her mission. At the end of the day, she had to help Draco with his research. She had to help the Death Eaters into the castle. For what? She didn't know. But at least she could keep Dumbledore informed and the damage wouldn't be monumental. It still left a disgusting taste in her mouth that she was directly helping a Death Eater with his own mission from a master who would kill her in a heartbeat.

Hermione had started sending Draco tidbits of research anonymously through Dobby in order to help move him along. Dobby had agreed to help her simply because of her close alliance with Harry. She gave Dobby a new note every day to place on Draco's bed when no one was in his room. Of course, the notes she sent him were charmed to look completely different to her own handwriting. On top of that, the notes were cryptic but held a key to mending the closet. Hermione was even on her way to making a specialized incantation to mend it. Would she give him that? She had no clue.

As she stared at herself in the mirror she was beginning to see a different girl. Nay…woman. Physically, she had changed just about as much as her mind and soul had. Her body wasn't anything to boast about but in comparison to the first year, buck toothed, frizzy haired girl she used to be…she could go as far to say she was beautiful. The Yule Ball, in her mind, had definitely been her peak. However, she no longer cared what other people thought of her or how they saw her. It did help her confidence that no one had called her ugly since third year.

Her dress was a pale pink with a deep V at the front that her mother had forced on her while shopping in France. The frock itself was gorgeous but for the first time in a long time, Hermione realized she was half of the beauty. The young Gryffindor realized that this might be the last time she would dress up in Hogwarts for any sort of occasion. She had used a handy curling spell to turn her normally messy mane into ringlets around her face. Now she was brushing through them to make sure she didn't look like Shirley Temple. She smirked to herself at the thought, only a Muggleborn would understand that reference.

"Hermione! Let's go already!" Harry's voice echoed from downstairs.

"Coming!" Hermione grabbed her purse from the dresser in front of her and made her way out the door.

* * *

Draco was often seen wearing a suit outside of Hogwarts and now the formal attire was like a second skin. A dirty, familiar second skin. At the start of any semester, the moment he put on his school uniform he felt like a younger, better version of himself. The suit he was currently wearing was one his father had passed down to him. He almost felt like it was his death day suit. He fingered the collar of the turtleneck away from his neck as he turned away from the mirror.

He was dressed up to blend into the guests of Slughorn's party so that he could be on the sixth floor without anyone being suspicious. He needed to go through the sixth floor corridor in order to get to the Room of Requirement so he needed to be stealthy. Draco hadn't been invited to join Slughorn's club which would have angered him years ago but he was glad to not be in the spotlight. He had connected that Slughorn was avoiding including any Slytherin with Death Eater connections. Blaise had been scooped up as soon as possible which meant no one knew that his mother was cohorts with the Death Eaters. Draco could only imagine what he was going through seeing as his best friend was still ignoring his presence.

Draco sat down on his bed with a sigh as he waited for the party to begin.

* * *

"Hermione! You look amazing," Ginny smiled at her as she stepped into Slughorn's party.

"Oh shush. _You_ look beautiful." The two girls hugged before Hermione let her go. "Where's Dean?"

Ginny rolled her eyes and brushed a piece of hair from her face. "We decided to break up. The fighting was just unfair to both of us. It's a bit sad but I'm glad we can stay friends."

"I'm sorry, Gin. It sounds like it's for the best," Hermione rubbed her friend's back reassuringly.

"Who's your date?" Ginny asked her suddenly.

"Me, myself, and I. I didn't want to through the trouble or go with someone I didn't actually fancy. Cormac, for example."

Ginny giggled and took a sip from her drink. After a few moments of silence Hermione noticed Harry being praised by Slughorn in the center of the room. "He's changed, hasn't he?"

Hermione looked at her friend with a curt nod. "He has. But deep down he's still the Harry we'll always know and love. He'll always be the guy you first met…" she trailed off and watched Ginny's expression relax as she watched the popular wizard. Ginny needed to hear that Harry was still that boy she had a crush on when she was younger. The red head was convinced she loved Harry before she even knew what love meant. She had let go of the idea of being with Harry but they were both older now…maybe things could be different. Hermione was actually proud of herself for the first time for meddling in other people's business.

The party continued and was somewhat enjoyable if it wasn't for Cormac constantly trying to flirt with her. Hermione had even taken to hiding behind the curtains in order to keep his advances at bay.

"He can't be bloody serious, Harry!" she held her face in her hands. She heard Harry's snicker which resulted in a swift slap to his arm.

"He's a git. What else do you want me to say?"

"I don't know! Stop him, do something…wait. What did Snape want to talk to you about earlier?" she asked, remembering now that the ex-Potions professor had called him over to speak privately.

"Just that Dumbledore said to have a nice holiday. Rubbish, if you ask me."

Hermione winced as she looked away from Harry and felt the same way, but was unable to voice her opinion on the matter. Her two best friends had no idea she was meeting with him one on one with frequency.

"Look who I've found hovering in the corridor!" Hermione peaked behind the curtain with Harry to see Filch walking in with Draco in his grasp. The brunette immediately stepped from out from behind the curtain despite Harry's questions of where she was going.

"I found him lurking in the corridors, I did! He's not on your list, Sir." Filch looked so proud of himself for catching the ever elusive Draco Malfoy.

"You won't even give me a chance to explain myself, you Squib. Get your dirty hands off me."

Hermione stepped forward behind Slughorn just in time to hear him condemning the Slytherin student for sneaking around. The Professor questioned Draco on why he was there in the first place but without hostility. Filch's interruption had created quite a stir in the party and now all eyes were on Draco. Was this yet another thing Hermione had to help him with?

"He was looking for me."

Suddenly, all the eyes in the room were on Hermione. She kept her own on Draco as he looked at her with equal shock. They were having their own private conversation and Draco was translating one thing; "What in Merlin's name are you doing, you dumb twit."

"We have some Prefect matters to discuss so I told him to find me here. I figured he could come and have some fun before we spoke. Isn't that what Christmas is all about, Professor Slughorn? Merriment and fun?" she finally peeled her eyes from Draco's to the older man standing next to her.

"Quite right, Ms. Granger. Please, let's all get back to having a good time! Argus, release the poor boy." Slughorn patted Hermione on the back gently as the crowd seemed to disperse but their eyes were still glued to Draco and Hermione. Neither of them knew what to say so Hermione simply headed for the door, fully expecting Draco to follow her.

* * *

Draco felt his wrist being grabbed as he left the doorway to Slughorn's party. Hermione was prepared to drag him but Draco snatched his hand back and followed her silently. There were no words or force necessary. She turned into an empty classroom and watched him stalk past her.

Hermione leaned against the front desk with a sigh as Draco walked to the window in silence. "What were you doing here?" she asked him finally, crossing her arms against her chest.

Draco didn't look at her as he contemplated her question. "None of your busi–"

"_Now,_ it is my business. I just lied for you."

"No one asked you to do that!" he nearly shouted and turned towards her. She, however, didn't flinch. Hermione had encountered Draco with much more rage than what was inside of him at the moment.

"Can you stop with this…act? Just be grateful for once!" she told him, standing up straight. As she did, Draco casually glanced over her body. One glance was more than enough for his Seeker trained eyes. She looked beautiful. He wouldn't be daft enough to deny it. Her hair wasn't frizzy but rather shiny and begging for his fingers to run through it. The dress accentuated all the areas she had grown over the years. Draco turned away once again with a groan.

"Why did you lie for me?" he asked her. They had to stop coming to this conversation. The conversation that always ended in Draco feeling lost in all of his unfounded prejudices. She was pushing him towards shifting into Blaise…was he as brainwashed as he felt? "What's in it for you to be so fucking kind to me?"

"I wish I knew."

Draco looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Her response was candid and he appreciated that. Maybe she was even questioning her own hate for him. "I'm not going to tell you why I was there. But…thank you. You saved my ass." It wasn't even that difficult for him to let out. Why wasn't it more difficult? Draco's mind was being spun around all over again.

Hermione couldn't help but let her lips quirk up into a small smile. Despite herself, she was happy to hear a thank you from him. But this smile faded quickly when she realized that he had been lurking for a reason. Was he trying to work on the cabinet this close to break? He hadn't gotten very far at all then.

"You need to be more careful of how you act around here. The teachers won't be keen on letting you off the leash if you keep acting out like that."

"I don't need to hear it from you."

"I'm supposed to be making sure you're on track. Just accept that and move on."

Draco eyed her and swore under his breath. She was right but he hated that with a passion. Granger was smart and she knew it. So he didn't plan on being yet another person to praise her.

"You know, people are going to realize there aren't any Prefect issues to discuss. They're also going to remember that you've been skiving off your duties since the beginning of the term so it's not going to make sense. I'm a terrible liar." Hermione looked up at him to see what kind of response he was going to have to that.

"I don't care what people think if you don't. They've said worse shit about both us, haven't they?" he couldn't help but laugh at the question because of the truth that lay in it.

Hermione had never truly seen Draco Malfoy laugh but it was contagious. It was also incredible to laugh earnestly for the first time in months. She held her stomach as she nodded her in head in agreement. "In fourth year, Rita Skeeter wrote an article saying how much of a slag I was. I don't even understand how that happened," she laughed and was glad that in retrospect, all of it seemed so childish. So useless.

Draco leaned against a desk in remembrance of that article and wiped his eyes of tears from laughter. "When I fell off my broom in second year, everyone was convinced I had shat myself on the field. The sad part is, I almost think I did." Hermione's laughter fed his own happiness as she waved her hands to tell him to stop making her laugh. The two laughed until they fell into an oddly comfortable silence.

"We're still meeting tomorrow for our last session right?" she finally asked after a few beats.

"Mhmm," he nodded and looked out through the window.

"See you then, Draco." She had gotten up and moved to the door, her eyes shining with the moonlight. "Have a good night."

"Yeah yeah Granger," he responded stubbornly, returning to his usual bite. But he said it with a grin that she would have never seen.

The door shut behind her and Draco was left alone, again, with his thoughts. _Fuck me…I don't hate her._

* * *

_"__You need to be more careful of how you act around here. The teachers won't be keen on letting you off the leash if you keep acting out like that."_

_"__I don't need to hear it from you."_

_"__I'm supposed to be making sure you're on track. Just accept that and move on."_

_A silence stretched out between the two people in the room. The feminine voice picked up again._

_"You know, people are going to realize there aren't any Prefect issues to discuss. They're also going to remember that you've been skiving off your duties since the beginning of the term so it's not going to make sense. I'm a terrible liar." _

_"__I don't care what people think if you don't. They've said worse shit about both us, haven't they?" _

Harry grimaced at the bits of conversation he had just began to eavesdrop on. There was no way Hermione was seeing Malfoy. When laughter erupted in the classroom he held his breath out of shock. It had been so long since he heard his best friend laugh like that. If he didn't know it was Hermione in that room, he wouldn't have recognized the girly laugh. Before either of them left, Harry walked away from his eavesdropping and leaned against a cold wall with a heavy sigh. What the fuck was going on?

* * *

Authors Note: Ahhhh this is a long one. I hope you enjoy this installment. I enjoyed letting Hermione be the one to help Draco yet again. Snape and Hermione will cross paths again soon in the story. We can just safely assume that they have been meeting regularly to practice Occlumency. & Harry finding about their connection: drammaa. Anyway, please review with feedback! See you all soon (:


	14. Chapter 13

"Granger!"

Hermione whipped around to see who had called her and was met with a familiar face. She was making her way to the Gryffindor tower from Slughorn's party and hadn't even heard footsteps following her. "Blaise? Are you alright'?" She mostly asking because in the last few weeks the Slytherin had done a bang-up job of ignoring her existence. She wasn't expecting them to be chummy but whenever she spoke in the larger group he looked everywhere else but her. Hermione had chalked it up to his feelings on her blood status. And yet, here he was calling her name.

"I could be better," but the answer came out strained.

Hermione shifted on her feet and adjusted her dress as the awkward silence swam around them. She had no patience for Blaise to beat around the bush so she cleared her throat, "If something is wrong, please spit it out. It'll make things easier for both of us."

Blaise looked up at her from the spot on the floor his eyes had been transfixed on. "Easier..." he echoed thoughtfully and bought his hands above his head in anguish. Hermione watched him mentally talk himself in and out of speaking to her.

"Blaise?

"I need your help."

They had spoken at the same time and both of their eyes met. "With what?" she let out, utterly confused.

"Merlin, I can't do this," she heard him mumble under his breath. Finally, after gaining his composure he looked up at her. She started into his eyes with a firm look, trying to give him the confidence he so desperately needed. "I need help from the Order. I want to join Dumbledore."

"Wait…what?" she nearly exclaimed but Blaise moved forward with a finger on his lips.

"Keep your bloody voice down, Granger. You heard what I said. I want in."

"You think it's that easy? Where is this even coming from? How am I supposed to trust you?" she pushed back without hesitation.

"Give me fucking Veritaserum. I'm telling you the truth. I don't agree with what is happening…none of it is right."

Hermione inhaled sharply as she started at Blaise like he was a stranger she had never met. "Why are you telling me this?" she questioned him, placing her hands on her hips.

"Because you're Potter's best friend. You could help me -"

"That's not good enough. You could have gone straight to Harry or Dumbledore. Why me?" She didn't want to make this easy for him.

"You...You're the only one that won't let me fall through the cracks. Dumbledore hasn't been here most of the term and Potter will never believe a word out of my mouth. You're the smartest person with some sense I can actually see myself trusting."

Hermione looked away from him with a long, weary sigh. His answer satisfied her but also furthered the confusion. Where had this come from? Outside forced conversations in class the two had never even stood this close to each other. Now, he wanted her to save his life.

"Are you simply interested in saving yourself from Voldemort or are you actually changing your alignment? We would be able to keep you safe but how quickly would it take for you to run back?" She asked the question that had been hovering in her mind.

"I was never aligned with You-Know-Who."

He didn't refer to him as the Dark Lord and his tone had shifted to a grave one. She was willing to somehow procure Veritaserum but the look on his face was proof enough. He was looking desperately into her eyes for some positive sign she believed him.

"You just had to wait until two days before break to dump this on me?" She let out a small, anxious laugh and leaves against the cold wall of the castle. "You're going to have to leave your family behind. Your friends. Are you prepared for that?" she asked him, hoping he was. Blaise had never been directly mean to her but he did tend to stand idly by while his best friend taunted her. She know understood why he had avoided acknowledging her…he was nervous of what would happen when he finally approached her.

"I am. I'll do anything." And she believed him. But she needed to get one thing straight.

"If I call an emergency meeting with Dumbledore and you're a spy or you try anything…I will take care of you myself." She leaned off the wall and walked towards him slowly, keeping her brown eyes on his. "Do I make myself clear? I'm kind and I'm sympathetic but I am not merciful when I need t be." Blaise was nodding furiously as Hermione stepped closer to him. He had seen her magic a few times and never wanted to be a target in front of her wand.

"Thank you," he breathed and for a moment, Hermione thought he was going to hug her but then he extended his hand for her own. A pureblood Slytherin was offering her, a Mudblood, his hand. She took in after a moment of hesitation with a curt nod before letting his larger hand free.

"This way then," she beckoned as she led the way towards Professor McGonagall's office.

* * *

Hermione stood silently in the corner of the Headmasters office as more and more people from the Order filed in. She crossed her arms against her chest and wished she could have changed before this impromptu meeting. Hermione felt like a child who had just gone to a school dance amongst wizards who had more skill than she could hope for. Snape was presently standing next to her with his arms crossed in the same fashion. They were not friends, per say, but after weekly meetings for the entire term their relationship was different. He knew her mind more than most people and had backed off on being so rude to her in class. She had a new found respect for Snape despite how mean he could be. They were both fearless and intelligent…but they weren't friends.

"What do you think is going to happen?" she asked him quietly, brushing hair from her face as she looked up at him. He ignored her and continued to stare at Blaise who was sitting in the chair in front of Dumbledore's table. "Professor…" she willed him to look at her but he continued to pretend she wasn't there. She let him delve deeper into his thoughts and turned away from him just as Remus walked into the office. He was the last person they were waiting for. She smiled at him as he looked over at her with a grin that left as fast as it came. Her own smile dropped as Dumbledore clasped his hands together.

"Thank you all for coming." Remus made his way over to Tonks with a small wave to the Headmaster. Hermione watched Mad Eye, Tonks, Arthur, McGonagall, and Kingsley all nod in their own way. Next to Hermione was Snape who was looking down at the floor contemplatively. "For those of you are not aware, this is Blaise Zabini. I will let you tell us why you've gathered us here," Dumbledore said kindly and looked at him through his half-moon spectacles.

Hermione heard Blaise audibly swear under his breath which made her nervous he wasn't going to be able to get a word out. As he stood up from his seat to face the judgmental eyes watching him, Hermione gave him a reassuring smile. If he really was interested in changing sides, he was going to need to prove it right now.

"I was never directly influenced by dark magic but I thoroughly believed I only had one choice. I cannot go back home to only to be met with a nightmare. I've never wanted to be a Death Eater but if you all only knew-" he stopped himself when he noticed Snape staring at him with an eyebrow raised. Severus Snape understood. "They will kill my mother if they think I'm a traitor. But I can't give them my life. My soul…" he trailed off and looked at Hermione who was listening attentively. She nodded her head for him to keep going and she watched him stand up straighter before looking back to the adults in the room.

"I-I want to be able to feel safe to live my life but it's so much more than that now. I can't watch innocent people die and not do anything about it. I can't just stand by anymore." The silence in the room was telling. Every single person was mulling over the words he had just spoken.

"It's pretty convenient you decide to come to us merely two days before you leave for holiday." Hermione's eyes went to Tonks who was leaning against a bookcase. "Why wait until now?"

"On top of that, how do we know you aren't a spy? This could be your first mission," Remus chimed in from his spot by the door.

"Give the boy a bloody minute to speak!" Mad Eye slammed his staff down on the ground which promptly shut Remus and Tonks up.

"I'm willing to leave my life behind and do whatever you want to keep my life intact."

"And what of your mother?" Snape spoke up finally, Blaise nearly jumping.

"That's the thing…I want her to be safe but there is no way I could convince her to do the same as me. I'll have to hide or hatch some plan to pretend I died before they leave her be. They'll think she's a traitor if I don't show up on holiday." Hermione looked at Snape who wasn't showing any type of emotion after Blaise's response. She had seen him show more emotion in an hour long Potions class.

"I believe you Blaise."

Hermione looked at Dumbledore and a smile grew on her lips. Of course he believed him. That was Dumbledore's way.

"I do as well. I have looked into the eyes of liars and Death Eaters. You have poor timing but you are neither of those things." All eyes went to Mad Eye who was staring at Blaise, his fake eye still and stern. Blaise, on the other hand, was wide eyed and absolutely shocked.

"Well, I'm not so sure I'm convinced!" Tonks stepped forward but Mad Eye raised his cane to stop her from moving.

"Nymphadora, control your temper like the adult you are," her mentor chided her with a growl. Tonks huffed but did step back.

"I'm with Tonks on this. How are we supposed to know his intentions are true?" Remus asked from the back.

"We could use Legillimency …" Snape had spoken up again which caused the whole room to look at him. Hermione bit her bottom lip at the idea but couldn't find anything terribly wrong with the idea. "I am willing to check if Zabini is truly telling her the truth."

"Wait, wait…" Blaise took a step back and shook his head. He wasn't going to out-rightly say he didn't want Snape rummaging through his mind because he would definitely be kicked out the room. "I'd be willing to take Veritaserum!" he told the room with desperation.

"If you paid any attention in my class you would know that Veritaserum is time consuming and rare. How any days does it take, Ms. Granger?" he had slipped the question in that Hermione nearly stood there looking like a fool.

"28 days."

"Exactly. The bit we _do_ have will not be wasted on something so trivial as interrogating you."

"Trivial? That's a bit of a stretch, Severus," Arthur laughed with a shake of his head.

Kingsley, who had otherwise been quiet now raised his voice. "Veritaserum isn't permitted on the use of an underage wizard unless under strenuous circumstances."

"He's just a boy, Albus," McGonagall whispered to the Headmaster but he simply looked at her with a reassuring smile.

"As if Hogwarts hasn't done things the Ministry disagrees with," Tonks laughed but quickly stopped as Mad Eye gave her a look.

"I'm not sure I'm completely comfortable with my Head of House using Legillimency on me," Blaise finally revealed his reasoning for objecting. Hermione could only hear Snape as he scoffed and flicked a piece of hair from his face. The room rose with conversation on what to do but Hermione simply faded into the background. As she glanced around the room, her eyes found Dumbledore's. He had been quiet during this whole ordeal but that wasn't very uncommon for the Headmaster. The less he spoke, the more he could listen. As Hermione stared across the room at the older man, it felt like he was trying to communicate something with her. If Blaise didn't want Snape going through his mind…

"I'll do it."

The entire room died down and every pair of eyes were on her.

"I can do it. If he'll…" Hermione looked at Blaise straight on. "If you'll let me."

"You know Legillimency?" Arthur asked in surprise.

Hermione forced herself not to look at Snape because it would give away who her teacher was. After she had done well enough on Occlumency Snape thought it was a good idea to help her practice Legillimency. She hadn't been expecting it but it was flattering he thought she was ready. However, Occlumency was hard enough…how was she going to try to break the shields in Snape's mind?

During their first session studying Legillimency she had realized Snape had been removing his memories before every meeting. Now, more than ever, Snape made certain to remove a number of memories too dangerous to risk and placed them into a Pensive. The other precious ones, he could protect. Hermione had done fairly well on attacking his mind and even reading his emotions. It was a powerful position to be in when you were running through people's memories. She wasn't very happy when they went back to Occlumency after four weeks.

"Yes, I can." That answer would suffice.

"Brilliant!" the Headmaster didn't even question Hermione's unexpected knowledge on advanced magic as everyone in the room was ready to do. "What do you say Mr. Zabini?" Dumbledore looked at him expectantly.

Blaise met Hermione's eyes and nodded after a moment of thought. "Let's do this."

* * *

Authors Note: I attempted a cliffhanger haha I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you so much for the WONDERFUL reviews on the last chapter. What do you think Hermione will see? Where will Blaise go? Please continue to review with your love or constructive criticism. Either one works for me (: Have a great weekend!


	15. Chapter 14

Song Rec: Berlin - RY X

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" she heard Tonks ask behind her.

"Because we can find another way if you're too nervous," Arthur chimed in with a supportive smile.

"She can do it. Leave her be," Snape's voice made the room suddenly quiet as his stern voice answered their concerns. Severus was confident in his teachings. Begrudgingly, he was also confident in Hermione Granger. Although, she was still an incessant, know it all.

Hermione looked up at the eyes on her and shuddered under the pressure. "Can you all step outside?" she asked them sweetly.

"But of course! I'm sure we can procure tea even at this late hour," Dumbledore motioned the group of wizards out the office.

Hermione paced in front of Blaise as he sat in the chair in front of Dumbledore's large oak table. She finally stopped moving as she leaned against the table and stared at him. They were less than a foot away from each other as Hermione kept her eyes locked on his.

"Are you sure you're ready for me to be inside your head?" she asked him, interested in an honest answer.

"I'm trusting you won't go anywhere you aren't welcome." Hermione crossed her arms against her chest and studied him. What he was requesting was completely fair but sometimes difficult in the midst of Legillimency.

"I can try. Before I start, clear your mind as I penetrate the walls of your mind."

"I'm trying really hard to not make a sexual joke right now," Blaise told her as he closed his eyes to follow her instructions. Despite herself she did smile but shook it off in order to focus on the task at hand. She was well aware of the consequences of performing Legillimency while unfocused. She could send him into paralysis or trap him in his own mind. A lot of things could go wrong but Hermione wasn't planning on screwing this up.

"Ready?" she asked him simply.

"Get on with it, Granger." She then remembered Blaise was a Slytherin after all.

It took her a moment to enter his mind without much effort seeing as he was a willing participant. She had never had free will on another person's memories and it was a bit like walking through a hazy version of reality. She was commanding his mind to show her the truth of his confession and he presented her with such.

His life flashed before her eyes before she found herself in front of a fancy castle-like home. She stood next to a young Blaise as he stared at the castle with trepidation.

_"__Isn't it beautiful, darling?" _

Hermione looked at the woman she presumed to be Blaise's mother. While Hermione had heard all the rumors of Blaise's mother's history with men, the Gryffindor had never seen a picture of her.

_"__Mummy, I don't like this place!"_ a child's voice rang throughout the courtyard. Blaise's mother shook her head with a sigh as she took Blaise's hand to walk to the castle. Hermione followed close behind.

Inside the castle was just as ornate and expensive as the outside. Paintings adorned the walls, suits of armor lined the foyer, and the marble floor was exquisite. Hermione was amazed by the beauty until she heard a cough from the left and a squeal from the older female in the room.

_"__Welcome to Chateau Adrien. M'dear, it's wonderful that you're finally with me."_ Hermione didn't know what that man was but she saw Blaise's mother drape herself over him and smother his waiting mouth with kisses. It was sickening to watch because she knew that the older woman would be his undoing. Hermione stole a glance at the young boy next to her who had tears in his eyes. What number husband were they on?

_"__I have some people I would like you meet,"_ the non-descript man spoke when he finally had his mouth free. _"Come,"_ he gestured to the grand tea room. _"Please meet Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. Their son, Draco."_

Hermione took a step back in surprise at the sight of a young Draco, sitting there innocently. He looked so pure. His parents looked so much more youthful in this memory than she had ever seen them. In comparison to the Narcissa Hermione had just encountered months ago, the woman in front of her was unrecognizable. Hermione watched as Blaise shook Draco's hand…the beginning of a long friendship.

The scene in the room changed as Hermione took control of the situation. That memory wasn't what she wanted. While Blaise's first meeting with the Malfoy's was probably the start of his relationship with dark magic…it wasn't what she needed. She needed to see the moment he realized he had to change. Hermione focused her mind on the memory she wanted and felt herself being surged forward into a classroom in Hogwarts. As she looked around Hermione saw herself, Harry, and Ron sitting next to each other near the front. Hermione spun around to see Blaise, Draco, Pansy, and the two bumbling idiots; Goyle and Crabbe.

_"__Why do you think there are such divides in the Muggle community between races?"_ Professor Burbage addressed the classroom. Hermione didn't remember this class but it must have been significant. She watched as her own hand rose into the air. _So typical…_Hermione almost felt her eyes roll. _"Yes, Ms. Granger."_

_"__I think divides do not only exist in the Muggle world. The wizarding world has an elite, the Purebloods. Then there are those who are Half-Bloods or Muggleborns. We can't possibly have a conversation about the Muggle world while ignoring what's happening right here in our own."_ The class sit still and finally Hermione remembered the class they were in. What was so important about this?

_"__You can't possibly compare us to Muggle's. They hate people based on the color of their skin. That's just foolishness,_" she heard Pansy snarl across the room. The younger Hermione turned in her seat and glared right at her.

_"__Isn't that the same as a Pureblood hating a Muggleborn?"_ Hermione demanded. Pansy rolled her eyes and looked away from the Gryffindor with a huff. The Hermione walking through Blaise's memories felt a surge of emotion through her. She felt frustrated…conflicted. Her eyes caught Blaise sitting next to Draco, his eyes trained on the younger version of herself.

_"__So what is the cause, in your opinion, Ms. Granger?"_ Professor Burbage leaned forward on her podium.

_"__Muggle or not, we are social creatures. In the Muggle world, skin color elicits a cue in your mind. There are not many other attributes you can see the moment you meet someone. I refuse to try to understand a racist but I can try to decipher their thoughts. Someone different is scary, it threatens their way of life, and hating someone who doesn't look like you can boost your own self-worth. In the Wizarding world, blood and heritage elicits the same response. This prejudice is taught. Carrying through with such teachings is a choice. To choose blind hate is weak."_

Hermione watched her younger self sit back with a breath, her hands clasped in front of her. Harry and Ron were staring at the Slytherin's, daring them to object to her words. While most of the Slytherin students had zoned out, Blaise was sitting there with a grim look on his face. Hermione leaned against a table as more emotions flowed through her. In that moment, Blaise had started to change. He was beginning to question everything he had been told. Was he really just a blind, mindless follower of Lord Voldemort? Did he mean anything? Was he just a pawn? She saw flashes and peaks into the rest of Blaise's journey of enlightenment. Hermione was relieved that he was telling the truth.

"Shit," she let out as she felt herself losing her grip on Blaise's mind and falling into another memory she hadn't directly requested. She was in a Slytherin dorm room…Draco appeared in front of her. He looked like he was in the midst of a fit of anger.

_"__My mother has been manhandled by the current state of affairs to become involved with the Death Eaters. You-Know-Who needs more students here at Hogwarts… I-I don't want to be a part of that world. But fuck me…I look at someone like Granger and I know she is less than me. I want to hex her for no good reason simply because I've been told she doesn't belong here. Because I know if I had to, I would kill her if it meant me living. Maybe I'm meant to be a Death Eater. We're so fucking brainwashed, we can't even see it."_

Hermione turned to see Blaise standing up, now coming into form out of a rush of hazy wind. The memory was becoming more and more distorted as she stood there. What was happening?

_"I was planning on flying under the radar…never getting involved with any of this shit. I don't have any relatives who are Death Eaters so they couldn't drag me in without good reason… They'll kill her if I don't do this."_

_"What are you going to do then, hmm? You've never seemed opposed to calling Granger a Mudblood or being glad that the Dark Lord returned. Now all of a sudden you think you can turn new leaf –"_

_"- Don't add me in on what you've said and felt. I never join in with the rest of your fucking minions when you start going on a tirade about Mudbloods or You-Know-Who! I don't know what I'm going to do, okay?"_

_"__There is nothing you __can__do. You should be glad the Dark Lord is choosing you! What do you think will happen to those that aren't on his side when things turn to shit?"_

Hermione felt herself want to scream as someone else's anger hit her like a ton of bricks. She stumbled back into the door of their bathroom with a gasp.

_"Do you hear yourself? Do you think just because you're on his side you're going to survive?" Blaise stood up, his fists balled at his sides. "You are going to do unspeakable things to innocent people and then live the rest of your life in a cell in Azkaban like you're father. You're so much better than that -"_

The memory faded in and out which made Hermione realize that Blaise was trying to fight her from seeing the rest of it. This only made her want to see it more.

_"I don't know what you're going on about. This conversation is over."_

_"Fuck you! You don't get to dismiss me like Pansy. This is not over."_

_"Well you just sit here and wallow at the prospect of being a-"_

"PROTEGO!"

Hermione felt herself being thrown back into her own body and mind as Blaise entered her own. "No!" she heard herself scream but he had already weaseled his way in.

He watched as Hermione had entered the Hogwarts castle for the first time. Her buckteeth making her a target for bullying from his group of friends. The scene shifted to Hermione dancing gleefully with Viktor Krum. And then it changed to her conversation with Dumbledore. She was fighting with all of strength to stop him but she failed. He stood in the room at the Burrow, directly behind her figure.

_"I cannot Miss. Granger. I am foolish to request this but you must trust that I would not be asking this of you if it was not pertinent. Blind faith is difficult but I ask that you muster the patience."_

Blaise held his chest as he felt Hermione's emotions rush into his heart. She was scared, sad, angry…but determined.

_"I'll do it. I can't let him die…even if it is Draco Malfoy."_

"Stop!" she pushed him out of her mind with one final effort and fell back into the table, nearly toppling over.

The room was quiet with tense energy as they both tried to regain their strength. The revelations between both of them were too large. She had let him see too much. She was angry.

"You weren't supposed to do that!" she screamed, standing up on weak legs.

"What did I just see?" he asked, gripping the arms of his chair.

"You weren't supposed to FUCKING do that!" she caught him by surprise and grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to sit up his chair, their faces at face level.

"You weren't supposed to see my memory either!" he shouted back but she didn't flinch.

"You…you…." She couldn't blame him for using a protective shield on her. She would've done the same thing.

"You _idiot," _she told him weakly but continued to hold onto his shirt. "What am I going to do with you?"

Blaise's eyes widened and shook his head. "What are you talking about Granger?" he asked her crisply.

"I can't let you leave with what you know – "

"I don't even _know_ anything! You're helping Draco but with _what_?! Is he dying?!"

"What was in the rest of the memory you hid from me?"

Blaise took her hands in his own and released them from his shirt. "I'm sure you already know…"

"Just say it!"

"He's a Death Eater. Draco."

"You're still trying to protect him."

"Of course. He's my best friend."

Hermione stepped back and leaned against the table behind her. "I'm trying to help Draco stay alive…he has a mission from Voldemort. It's nearly impossible but if I help him behind the scenes then he'll get it done. He'll be saved." It was a relief to tell someone. She hung her head in exhaustion.

Blaise was looking at Hermione with wide eyes as he realized what compassion meant. Even after everything Draco did to her, she was still helping him.

"I don't think I even want to get involved in this. I won't say anything because I owe you. Now get your shit together, Gryffindor." His hands were now placed on her shoulders and to his surprise, she didn't shrug him off. "Granger?" he asked after a moment of silence.

Hermione looked at him with her tear stained face and a small smile. "You've really changed. I didn't realize what I said that day meant so much to you…" she trailed off and shook her head. "You're so different." She was thinking of Draco as the guy in front of her was so different from the person she was trying to save. "You're going to be okay." Hermione stood up and felt Blaise drop his hands from her shoulders. She walked past him towards the door but his voice made her stop.

"I felt something before you pushed me out."

"What?"

"You're too good for him…you realize that right?"

Hermione turned to look at him, confused by his words. "What are you trying to say?"

"You're getting close to him. I saw you two laughing just briefly but I _felt_ what you were feeling."

"So what are you trying to say?" she growled as he continued to beat around the bush.

"Just don't fall for him." Hermione felt her entire body go still as he said those five words.

And despite herself she said six words back that made her want to cry. "I doubt he'd even want me." She blamed it immediately on the fatigue.

Blaise looked away with a sigh as Hermione turned again for the door. "I'm sure we'll see each other soon, Granger."

She didn't respond but raised her hand in a quick wave over her head as she left the office and turned to the tea room where everyone was waiting. "He's telling the truth. Blaise is on our side."

"Are you alright, girl? You look sickly," she heard Mad Eye tell her but her eyes were still on Dumbledore.

"You have to help him. Okay? Just help him…" she told him but felt herself getting dizzy. She stumbled but Snape's arm was there for her to grab. Hermione looked up at him with a faint grin. "I did it," she breathed a laugh before fainting into darkness.

* * *

Authors Note: Phew, this one was a doozy to write. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it and I might change it eventually. But I am generally okay with it. I like Blaise as a character and a catalyst. I think Hermione is becoming hardened which is important for me to show. Her feelings for Draco, whether friendly or not at this point, are hard for her to understand. She is getting to know him and seeing him as a human being instead of a Death Eater has been changing everything. Okay! So what will happen to Blaise?! How is Hermione going to deal with Harry's questions?! Keep posted (: Thanks for the reviews/favorites/follows!


	16. Chapter 15

Song Rec: Falling - Civil Wars

* * *

Another day spent in the Hospital Wing. Hermione had fainted for the second time in one term and it was beginning to get old. Madam Pomfrey had been the ever doting nurse and while Hermione was grateful, she wanted to leave. However, Dumbledore had given her strict orders to keep her there for an entire day. Needless to say she was counting down the hours she would be able to leave at 10 in the evening. That would give her more than enough time to meet Draco for their last meeting.

She felt pathetic after the incident with Blaise the night before. She honestly wondered if Snape was proud or thoroughly disappointed. Either way, she had gotten them what they needed. Blaise was now on the good side.

Promptly at 10 o'clock, Hermione gingerly made her way out the hospital bed despite Madam Pomfrey's offer to stay later if the she wanted to rest. Hermione shook her head as she pulled on her shoes, there would no need for resting. She had missed the last day of classes and wasn't planning on missing one last chance to talk to Draco. She had to be consistent with him or else they would go back to square one. If Blaise could switch sides, Draco could.

She suddenly remembered the one of the last things Blaise had said to her in Dumbledore's office. ("Just don't fall for him") Hermione left the Hospital Wing with a grim look on her face. When she finally arrived at the Gryffindor tower most people were already in bed but a few students were sitting in the common room. Ron happened to be one of those people. "Hermione!" He exclaimed and jolted up to hug his best friend.

She hugged him back with fervor, snuggling her head into the crook of his neck. It was nice to have some sense of normalcy. "Are you alright? I tried to come visit but either you were sleeping or Madam Pomfrey turned me away. What happened?" Ron's worried voice was slowly bringing her back down to earth.

"I had a bit of an episode after the party. Fainted on my way back to the dorm." The lie fell easily from her mouth but she ignored the guilt bubbling in her stomach.

"Some people said they saw Professor Snape hovering you to the Hospital Wing. What's that about?"

Hermione tried to hide her satisfaction that her mentor cared enough and only shrugged in response. "I have no clue...where's Harry?" She asked after looking over Ron's shoulder to the rest of the room.

"Dumbledore wanted to have one last meeting before break. Harry has been in a bit of a mood...won't say what's wrong though. The usual," Ron rolled his eyes and turned to plop down on the couch. The two continued to talk for at least half an hour before Hermione realized she was late.

"Listen, I need to take out some books from the library before we leave tomorrow. _Accio Bag_." Hermione's bag zoomed down from the girl's side and onto her lap.

"You're willing to go after hours just for a few books?" Ron asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You've influenced me more than you think," she laughed as Ron smiled, slightly proud of himself.

"Don't wait up." Hermione fixed the front of his hair like his mother would before standing up to leave the common room.

* * *

"You're late."

"Yeah, yeah. Like you've never been late before."

Draco grumbled to himself as she sat down across from him. It seemed like he had completely forgotten their sweet moment just two days ago. Hermione looked at him as he went back to his work and almost wished she could tell him about Blaise. Soon enough, Blaise would go into hiding and only a select group of people would know here he was. Hermione hadn't seen Blaise and Draco being chummy but she knew they still cared for each other. Deep down Draco would be upset and saddened by the loss of his childhood friend.

"We've only got one small topic to discuss and then you'll hand in your final essay. I'm sure you're happy we're almost done." Draco only hummed a response and worked to finish the last sentence of the paragraph he was on. When he finally put his quill down, Hermione began the final lesson.

* * *

Fucking, Granger…

Draco was upset with the girl in front of him but he couldn't really pinpoint why. She was acting like nothing had happened or that she hadn't just been in the Hospital Wing for a day. She was still pretending that he wasn't a Malfoy. He was simply Draco to her. That alone made him angry…or was he scared? Scared of what it would mean if he started to care for the Gryffindor angel. He wished he didn't care already.

Hermione was still lecturing but he had been dazed out for a while now. "And you're all caught up for the semester. I'm pretty proud of myself actually," she stretched her hands above her head with a yawn. "Any questions?" she asked him as she stuffed her books into her bag.

"Why were you in the Hospital Wing?"

Hermione looked up at him from her bag with wide eyes. It was obvious she hadn't been expecting him to ask her about her well-being. "It's nothing."

"So you stayed in the Hospital Wing for no good reason?" he pushed back and stood up from his seat. "Isn't that the second time you've landed yourself there?"

"Are you keeping count then? It's none of your business," she told him and continued to pack her bag.

"You are such a fucking hypocrite."

"Excuse me?" she nearly shouted as his tone took a hostile turn.

"You want me to share my whole fucking life story with you and you can't even tell me why you were in the Hospital Wing."

"I'm just giving you what you dish out. Wait, I didn't mean -"

"So that's what it's about? You're petty," Draco spat at her and started to pack his own bag. "I can't believe I even tried."

"Why are you trying in the first place? Sometimes things will never change."

"You truly believe that bullshit? Of course people change! Aren't you the defender of change and seeing the good in people?" he shouted at her and for the first time in a long time, she looked startled.

"I am! But you-you can't honestly expect me to just believe you're actually concerned! Look at your track record!"

"Just because you think I'm lower than you doesn't mean I don't have the capacity to change. Or to feel or to be concerned. Fuck you!" he pointed a finger at her.

"You're the one that hates me!" she screamed back and dropped the books in her hand onto the table with a slam. "I'm not the one that walks around calling people Mudbloods! That's you, Draco."

"Stop fucking calling me that!"

"You're name?! You're psycho! What do you want me to call you then?" she demanded.

Draco didn't mean to say it but it came out anyway. "EVIL, DIRTY, UNWORTHY. All the things I deserve from you."

He felt like a child as he turned away from her with a scream and kicked the chair next to him into a bookcase. Books fell from their shelves in thuds as he shut his eyes in frustration. Hermione suddenly remembered the memory she saw of Blaise and Draco in their dorm room. Draco was angry that Blaise didn't want to become a Death Eater because he believed his best friend didn't want to become evil like him. At the root of everything, Draco really thought he wasn't deserving of love or respect.

Hermione moved around the table towards Draco before putting her hands on his forearms. He flinched and kept his head bowed but didn't push her away. "Aren't you tired of fighting?" she asked him quietly.

"Exhausted."

Draco lifted his head, his eyes dark with tiredness. Her eyes were clear and bright. His hand slowly raised into the air on its own and brushed a curl away from his face. Her breath hitched as the feather light touch of his fingertips on her skin could have made her faint for the third time. _"Just don't fall for him…"_

Draco leaned forward, inhaling the scent of the Hospital Wing mixed with the vanilla fragrance swimming through her hair. Hermione closed her eyes, taking in the cologne she had never gotten close enough to smell. She had smelt that cologne before. She felt like the fates were laughing at her as she recognized where that scent had once filled her nostrils; Amortentia. Bergamot…Cedar.

"When did you start wearing that cologne?" she asked quietly as he seemed lost in a trance, his body coming to her own like a magnet.

"Third year or something," he whispered and looked into her eyes once more.

"It's nice," she let out and then his lips were on hers.

The kiss was soft but he kept a strong hold on the side of her face. Hermione griped his forearms for dear life as he caressed her lips with his own. Draco knew why he kissed her that day but would never admit it out loud. It would have been too easy to blame it on the instinctual need for womanly contact because he could've filled that need with any girl in the school. Maybe it was the fact that Granger was being so nice to him and he had a complex about kindness. It was probably because spite of the shit he had put her through, she still called him Draco.

They leaned back from the kiss after a solitary minute. He didn't look immediately remorseful of what he did but she knew it was going to come. "Have a nice holiday, Granger." He released his grip of her and bought his hands down to remove her hands from his arms. She watched silently as he grabbed his bag, leaving his final paper on the table, and flicked his wand in the direction of the disheveled bookcase to return the books to their rightful place.

"Draco…" he began to walk out of the Restricted Section but he stopped. She knew if she tried to make him tell her why he kissed her right then, he would put his defenses back up. He kissed her because he needed to know someone wouldn't hurt or push him away like everyone else had. He was able to be a teenage boy for just a second before he had to go home and be a Death Eater. "Have a nice holiday," she told him, her voice cracking from the tears welling in her eyes. She felt bad for him, she could admit that. And she also wanted to hug him, hold him, and let him know he was loved. But she wasn't the best thing for him at the moment. So she watched him walk away into the darkness and closed her eyes as she felt the front door of the library close a few moments later.

* * *

Authors Note: Ahhhh so it finally happened. Or it happened in a sad way where we weren't really able to celebrate it just yet. I'm kind of nervous of how this chapter will be received so let me know if you like it or not! Please review, favorite, follow, and pass along to your friends (:


	17. Chapter 16

The train ride to Kings Cross Station was weirdly somber for Hermione. She was happy to be going on holiday with her parent's for a bit before she would be thrown back into the beast that was Hogwarts. Her parent's had been at odds with the Wizarding world and the dangers that it held. They didn't want their only daughter dying in a battle that wasn't even originally hers. As a Muggleborn, to them, she had a choice to leave if she wanted. Hermione thought that was pure blasphemy.

As she stared out the window of the Hogwarts Express, she felt herself go off to a number of distance lands in her mind. There was Blaise…a friend. She was sure she was going to find out the Order's plans to save him when she returned to Grimmauld Place. She could only hope their plans weren't too strenuous on Blaise. Then there was Draco. After their kiss she had so many conflicting emotions that she had basically just gone mute up until she sat on the train. Her friends asked her what was wrong but she had no words.

She had the best kiss of her life with someone was born to hate her.

She had no words.

"Are you feeling better?" Ron nudged her with his elbow. He was presently sitting next to her reading a Quidditch magazine but had stopped to see if her voice had returned to her body.

She nodded before looking at Harry who was sitting across from them. He seemed to have lost his voice as well. Up until then. "Can you give us a minute, Ron?" Harry didn't even care to look at Hermione. She looked out the window, unafraid and unconcerned at what Harry had to say to her.

"Sure." Ron left without a look behind him, taking his magazine with him. She felt bad because he probably felt left out but deep down he must know she would tell him everything. After all, she felt closer to Ron now more than ever.

"I'm going to ask you one question, Hermione. And I want the truth."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child."

"What's happening between you and Draco?"

Hermione looked up at him, her lips parted in surprise. "Excuse me?" she feigned shock like she was a natural born actress.

"I heard you two after Slughorn's party. The way you two were laughing. What was _that_ about?" he demanded and crossed his arms over his chest.

Hermione faltered for a moment and looked down to pick at the bottom of her shirt. "So you were eavesdropping?"

"I wanted to know he hadn't Imperius'd you into standing up for him at Slughorn's party!" he told her as it was plain as day.

"As if I would ever give him the chance! If you must know, I've been helping him catch up on his work. I am a tutor, after all. Some teachers have asked me to make sure he's on the right path academically. Did you want to hear we were having a secret relationship or that I've been his best friend all along?" she asked him, slamming the book in her lap shut.

"I don't know! I didn't know what to think, okay?" Hermione rolled her eyes in response and stood to grab her things. "Where are you going?" his exasperation was lost on her.

"I'm going to go sit with Luna because she'll actually respect our friendship and not act like an idiot!"

"I respect our friendship!"

"No you don't. You are constantly looking for an excuse to be angry with me and Ron. We will always have your best intentions at heart but you have to stop being so bloody paranoid."

"Why are you helping Draco Malfoy? Answer that and I'll stop being paranoid. It doesn't make sense to me that you would help him!"

"Because…because he's lost and needed help. He's been dealt a shitty hand, just like you, and no one cared enough. You've had a _hard_ life Harry. But you have to accept that people you believe have it easy, really don't. If this world is ever going to be free, you have to start somewhere and Draco might be that somewhere. Everyone is doing their part to bring different creatures and wizards together, why can't we? Even one singular person matters."

"But it's Draco _fucking_ Malfoy. Why him?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you. You're just going to have to trust me."

"Is he threatening you?" he asked suddenly.

"No! Merlin's beard, it's that hard for you to look past your past with him to see that he might actually be a human being like us. He treated me worse than anyone…and I found the strength to forgive him. Forgiving someone sets both of you free. Are you that blinded by hate? You so caught up in hating Draco Malfoy that you're losing everyone else."

Harry stared at her with troubled eyes. They continued their staring contest for a few seconds before he nodded his head. "I'm sorry."

"_I don't believe you." _ She said it slowly and clear for him to hear her correctly.

Harry looked startled but didn't say anything. He was at a loss for words.

"You keep saying sorry as if it means anything anymore. I'm still waiting for you to mean it! If you're going to lead the wizarding world towards defeating Lord Voldemort, you better learn to cherish the people who have always been there! " She shouted at him and for once didn't feel guilty for screaming at Harry Potter. "I love you Harry. As my brother, my best friend, and as the hero you've grown to be. But I'm tired of your apologies. I forgive you…I always will. But trust me when I say that whatever I'm doing or whatever I'll do will always be done to help you. So stop doubting me and trust me in the way that I trust you; unconditionally."

She wiped a single tear that had escaped down her cheek with the back of her hand. Sure, she was hiding the full truth from Harry but she was right. She was doing it because in the long run, having Draco Malfoy alive and on their side was much better than having him dead. She could only hope Harry would see it the same way when everything came to light.

"I don't understand why Malfoy is worth it but you're the smartest person I know. There must be some truth to it. But the moment I see him step out of line, I'm taking the chance to take him down. That is something I won't apologize for." Hermione sighed and nodded her head. She couldn't fault him for that. "And I'll do better. I promise." Harry pulled her into a fierce hug, whispering in her ear promises of his new efforts to prove just how much he appreciated his friends.

"What's this now?" she heard Ron's voice as the compartment door closed with a thud. "Lavender was _actually_ smothering me so I had to come back. That girl needs to learn that distance makes the heart grow fonder."

"Come here, you fool." Hermione reached for Ron and pulled him into the embrace. She was still slightly upset with Harry but she really did have a soft spot for her boys. Regardless of the thoughts plaguing her mind, she was able to enjoy the last hour of the train ride laughing with her two best friends.

* * *

Authors Note: This one is a short, filler type of chapter. I needed to get their confrontation out the way in order to get into Blaise the next chapter. The next one will be much, much longer. It'll even have some Draco! Please review/favorite/follow. Hope you're all well & see you soon (:


	18. Chapter 17

**HOGWARTS STUDENT DEAD**

The Wizarding Community is mourning the loss of Blaise Zabini, Hogwarts student. He proudly wore green and silver for nearly six years of his time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. To his friends, he was a soft-spoken, intelligent, and kind young man. His mother, Priscilla Zabini, is saddened and angered by the news of her only son's death. She is asking the question on everyone's mind: How did this happen?

It was reported that Zabini was on Diagon Alley completing his Christmas shopping when a spat between dark wizards and the Ministry broke out. Sadly, Zabini was killed in the cross hairs of this fight. It is unknown which dark wizards were present. Kingsley Shacklebot, high-ranking Auror and bodyguard to the Minister, released a statement on the behalf of the Minister of Magic; "_The Minister is working tirelessly to bring justice to the Zabini family. Auror's responded quickly to the attacks on Diagon Alley and continue to fight against the darkness that threatens our world. It angers the Minister that we lost a young boy to the evil that plagues the wizarding world. As a people, we must work to ensure that Blaise Zabini did not die in vain. In the coming months, question what your role will be in protecting your children, friends, and fellow wizards. Our thoughts and well wishes are with Priscilla Zabini is this truly trying time."_

This edition of the Daily Prophet is in respect of Blaise Zabini and the lasting memory he left on every soul he touched.

More on the attack on page 5.

* * *

The Daily Prophet slammed down on the kitchen table with a shriek from Hermione Granger. "YOU HAD HIM KILLED?" she screamed at Remus, who was currently stepping back from the angry witch.

"Would you please calm down? We had to protect him and killing him was the only way…" Remus lifted his hands in defense.

"Where is he then? I'd like a word with him."

"He's upstairs. You were never this rude to me in Hogwarts, Miss. Granger." Remus smirked and watched Hermione let out a huff of air as she stood up.

Hermione didn't even care to respond as she took the newspaper from the table and marched upstairs. She had returned from her holiday in France with her parents early than planned after receiving the Daily Prophet with the shocking headline. It was utter madness but the first person she thought of was Draco. She couldn't imagine loosing Harry or Ron. Draco was currently mourning the loss of his best friend and she had no way of telling him the truth.

"Blaise!" she pushed open the door to his guest bedroom with a growl.

"It's a pleasure seeing you too, Granger." He was lounging on the bed with a smirk gracing his lips, his hands behind his head. "Care to knock next time? I know it would've thrilled you but I could've been naked."

"Why did you let them do this?" she asked, throwing the paper at him. Blaise was suddenly attentive and leaned forward to read the article on the front page.

"Why did they choose _that_ picture? Anyway, I thought they told you the moment it was happening…" he mumbled.

"Well they didn't. Couldn't you have been kidnapped or…I don't know. Anything else but killing you!"

"Granger! You can't be that daft," he looked up from the paper.

"I-I," she shook her head and snatched the paper back. She rolled it up with surprising speed and smacked him on the shoulder. "I'm not daft! I'm just thinking about your mother and your friends!" Blaise snatched the paper back with a sigh

"Well what would that have done then, hmm? Kidnapping it not good enough for the Death Eaters. Kidnapping means that there is still a high chance that I'm somewhere to be found. My mother could be used as bait to get me out of hiding. Being dead means she can go on living her life as a Death Eaters wife. She may not be completely free but I won't be the cause of her death." Blaise wasn't going to cry, he had done that already. He did it in the shower when no one could hear him sobbing over the loss of his mother, his friends, and his old life. While there were many dark moments scattered over the years, he had been lucky in so many ways. His mother made him angry and caused him pain but she was the only family he had. Now, they wouldn't be reunited for a long, long time.

"What about Draco?" she asked after a moment and watched Blaise's shoulders hunch over the paper.

"I actually did something you might not approve of. No one would approve of it…" Blaise stood up and walked to the window, throwing the paper onto the bed. He kept his back to her in an attempt to hide his wrongdoing.

"What did you do?" She was scared to think he might ruined this whole thing.

"Draco knows I'm not dead."

"WHAT?" she screamed and stalked into the room further, pulling his shoulder so that he faced her. "Please tell me you're lying."

Blaise shook his head with a sigh. "I _had_ to let him know I was alive. So I sent him a note…one word. This one word was enough to let him know I was somewhere in the world. We used to talk about secret codes as kids. The code word I used basically tells him that I've run away and I'm okay." Blaise let out a sad laugh. "We always talked about running away…"

Hermione stared at him and wanted to be angry but at least Draco knew. The rest of the Order would be furious but she had gotten so good at telling lies, why stop now? "What's the word?"

"That, little Gryffindor, is a secret."

Hermione scowled and turned away but soon felt Blaise's hand on her arm. "Thank you, Granger. Really."

"My friends call my Hermione."

"Does Draco call you that?"

Hermione faltered and took her arm back. "He's the exception." Blaise chuckled and watched her walk to the door, stepping over clothes strewn on the floor. "And you're welcome. Don't make me regret it."

* * *

For Hermione it was a relief that there was one thing she didn't have to lie to Harry and Ron about. They knew of her involvement with saving Blaise and were a bit perturbed that she hadn't confided in them right away. The members of the Order reassured them that she had no choice but to stay quiet. They had protected her knowledge of Occlumency, probably under the orders of Dumbledore.

Ron had also taken a few days to ignore Hermione after she told him of her tutoring sessions with Draco. He was as confused as Harry and warned her that even if she tried to help him, there was nothing she could do. To Ron, the Slytherin was so far gone into darkness that not even Hermione could help him.

Remus, Tonks, and Arthur had waited until Hermione had arrived to tell the story of how they faked Blaise's death. Needless to say, Arthur was excited to get into the details of their epic mission.

"We head news from our sources that the Death Eaters were planning on attacking Diagon Alley so we made sure we were there before them. We wanted to protect civilians but this was the perfect opportunity for us to execute our plan. The Order had decided that having Blaise mysteriously disappear wasn't good enough so putting him in the midst of a duel between Death Eaters and Aurors would be completely plausible. So how do you think we did it then?" he asked, clasping his hands in front of him. Hermione couldn't help but laugh at how much Arthur looked like his sons.

"Uh…body double?"

"No Ron…"

"A potion."

"Okay, yes Hermione! But what potion?"

Hermione leaned back in her seat and thought for a moment. A potion that could feign death. "Draught of Living Death."

"Ten points to Gryffindor," Snape stood in the doorway with a roll of his eyes.

Hermione spun in her seat to stare at him, knowing immediately he was the one that made the potion. "So I'm right then, sir?" she asked expectedly.

He ignored her and entered the room, standing next to the farthest chair from the group. Harry and Ron looked immediately uncomfortable at the sight of their former Potions teacher. If it wasn't enough that Blaise Zabini was suddenly sleeping in the room next to them, they had to deal with Snape's sour mood.

As a result of their cold behavior, Blaise decided that staying in his room most of the time was better for everyone. While Blaise wasn't a Mudblood hating, Dark Lord loving Slytherin, he still didn't care for the boy wonder and his sidekick; Weaselbee. Blaise had almost gotten into a full on duel with both of them after the news of his admission to the "good side" reached their ears. Harry doubted his loyalty immediately while Ron was stuck on how rotten his character was. Now, a week later, they were able to sit at the kitchen table without an argument breaking out. The two Gryffindors had managed to understand that Blaise wasn't his Slytherin counterparts…and he wasn't the enemy anymore.

"So how did you fake his death with the Ministry?" Harry was still focusing on Arthur's riveting story.

"We had Kingsley to thank for that. All he had to do was forge the evidence and once Blaise woke up, they were able to smuggle him out," Tonks nodded her head and smiled at Remus, their successful mission was a shining light over the recent darkness. As the stories continued and laughter commenced, Hermione glanced over at Snape who was already looking straight at her.

"I'd like a word, Miss. Granger."

Hermione rose wordlessly to follow Snape towards a silent room away from the living room. She could faintly hear Harry and Ron speaking to Remus about how slimy Snape was but she chose to ignore them. They just didn't understand.

When they finally found a room in the expansive Grimmauld Place, the older man placed a silencing charm on the door. He placed his wand back into his pocket before turning his eyes on Hermione. "Malfoy did exceptionally well on his grades this term. He also seemed to keep himself out of trouble until the incident at Slughorn's ridiculous party. He has you to thank for that."

Hermione merely nodded as she stared at him. It was like he had more to say but didn't know how to tell her. She was about to excuse herself when he finally spoke again.

"Despite your fainting spell after voyaging into Mr. Zabini's mind, you did an adequate job."

"Thank you. Coming from you that means a lot, sir."

Snape eyed her and nodded his head. "Do not mistake my small amount of praise for an excuse to stop practicing. While our lessons are complete –"

"Wait, why? There is still so much to learn."

"Believe it or not, there are more important things I have to tend to." In that moment Hermione realized Snape sounded so much like Draco. What were these 'important things'? She could only imagine.

"Sorry..." she told him apologetically. "Sir," she let out in an afterthought but her mentor was already moving to leave the room.

"Should I continue to help him? Draco, I mean?"

Snape held the doorknob in his hand and turned to look at her. "That's entirely up to you. You never seem to listen to what anyone has to say so I won't even waste my breath."

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest defensively but found it hard to be upset with the man in front of him. Around this time of year, she could only assume he was feeling even angrier. As he turned to open the door she stopped him in his tracks. "I hope you'll be able to join us for Christmas dinner." She would kill him with kindness in return for his snarky remarks. Snape stared at her for a moment, his eyes opening from the usual slits he looked at her with. It was going to be a work in progress to make Snape her friend. He merely nodded and left the room with his signature flurry of his black robes.

* * *

**Authors Note**: Enjoy! Have a wonderful week and see you soon! For those of you that are waiting for Dramione interactions: it will come! I won't ruin it but the next chapter is chock full of them.


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